What does it feel like to care about something?
What does it feel like to like someone?
Or rather…
What does it feel like to love?
Lucas didn’t know, because his father had never taught him.
His parents taught him how to be a good person, his schoolteachers imparted the basics of academic subjects, and his companions taught him how to fit in with the group.
Lucas wasn’t a genius.
Since the day he was born, his parents had ruthlessly planned everything for him.
They wanted this child to “succeed” — to become a standard Novalis success story.
So he had always lived within the boundaries others set for him.
His solid foundation in arithmetic, literature, and other basic subjects came from the tutors his parents hired when he was young.
His refined speech and demeanor, which surpassed that of other children, was thanks to the etiquette classes his parents specially enrolled him in.
Even what others considered Lucas’s strength, his “hobby” — his extensive knowledge in the field of machinery — was something his parents had forced him to study when he was a child.
Lucas sometimes felt conflicted.
He thought he was strange, different from other children.
Other children had their own hobbies and interests, things they loved and cared about.
Other children could play and fool around with their peers.
They could laugh heartily while playing, even after falling down.
But he was different.
After completing one task after another assigned by his parents, after achieving brilliant results in exams, he would also smile.
But Lucas knew that his smile — the smile he showed his parents and elders — carried a sense of pride in fulfilling his responsibilities and living up to expectations, a pride in maintaining honor and bringing glory to his parents.
His smile had asked everyone — his parents, teachers, elders, friends.
But it had forgotten to ask the voice inside his own heart.
He knew that compared to other children, he wasn’t normal.
No interests. No hobbies.
Always blindly following the experience of his parents and elders, without any opinions or ideas of his own.
Lucas longed for change.
He wanted to understand what it felt like to care about an object, to care about a person.
He wanted to be a normal person with his own joys and sorrows, who could also love life.
To that end, Lucas actively approached kids his own age.
He wanted to see what children of the same age liked, what they were interested in.
But in the end, he couldn’t do it.
Lucas couldn’t play freely with his group of companions — because they feared him, kept their distance from him.
They looked up to him with worshipful, eager eyes, treating him as an unattainable genius.
Lucas was seen as “that other kid” — excellent enough to be a model for everyone to learn from.
Anyone who spent time with him inevitably put on rose-colored glasses, too shy to discuss childish topics with this “prodigy.”
Wasn’t he also an outsider who didn’t fit in?
But now, it was different.
This girl — this girl named An — she was willing to approach him, willing to keep him company.
For three years, she had read that magic book with him, studied together, discussed homework together.
That companionship had lasted three years.
And today, he finally understood, finally realized.
Seeing that girl cry made his heart ache.
Seeing that girl struggle moved him.
So he really did care about An.
So all these three years, every moment spent with An, every blush and awkwardness, every concern and care for this girl — that was the emotion he had been searching for all along, the one called love.
Or rather, the emotion called love.
And so, the boy who had never had his own opinion mustered all the courage in his life and shouted out that resounding vow to An.
“I care about you, An.”
The girl’s lips trembled slightly, confirming the weight of those words in her heart.
But after all, they had been friends for three years.
Sometimes, just a single glance was enough for them to understand each other.
“You… are you serious?”
Her tears hadn’t dried yet, but her reddened eyes, fixed on Lucas, held no doubt.
“You… don’t mind my status? Don’t mind that I have no talent?”
“How could I? If I minded… would I have stayed with you all these years?”
Lucas was momentarily at a loss for words.
“You don’t have to be so sad…”
After a moment’s deliberation, he still wanted to console the girl.
“Even without mana… An is still An. You have many strengths!”
“Like…?”
The girl’s voice still carried a hint of crying, but her mood had clearly improved.
“You… you’re kind-hearted!”
Lucas’s face was red for a long time, but that was all he could force out.
His eyes nervously glanced at the girl’s twin tails.
“And… and… you’re not bad-looking either.”
“Pfft—”
Seeing that An was amused by his words and had returned to their usual dynamic, the boy couldn’t help but sigh in relief.
He reached out his hand and pulled the girl, who was kneeling on the ground, to her feet.
“Shouldn’t we head back soon… class is about to start—”
He looked at An, who was dusting off her gray school skirt.
“Hold on a second, Lucas.”
The girl called him by his first name.
That rarely happened before.
Lucas instinctively straightened his back.
“What you just said… can I take it as a confession?”
Con… confession?
The boy’s thoughts were in turmoil.
What… what was this?
“Of… of course not —”
He wanted to deny it.
“Hmm?—”
The girl slightly leaned her face closer, making Lucas’s heart race.
But he did care about An… he did like An.
“Al… alright…”
“What… what do you think?”
He couldn’t lie, so he resignedly admitted it.
“Mm-hmm — I don’t dislike Lucas. I think these three years, having you by my side, have been very happy.”
“I also enjoy spending time with you,” the girl added.
An… An also enjoys being with me?
Hearing that good news, a joyful feeling rose within him.
“But you have to think it over, okay? I don’t have mana…”
“You know my family situation. If you’re with me, you’ll run into a lot of trouble too.”
Seeing the loneliness and regret in the girl’s eyes, Lucas knew she was still very sad.
At the very least, she still cared about whether she could realize her dream…
‘I really… I really want to help him…’
A small, unwilling voice echoed in her mind.
That’s right…
I… could I help An realize her dream?
A bold and crazy idea rose in his heart.
That idea was too shocking, something the Lucas who used to live within boundaries would never have dared to think.
But looking at this pitiful girl before him, what was there to worry about?
Since I have magical talent…
Since I like An so much…
What’s wrong with that?
“An, I might choose to enter university and continue my studies.”
“I want to go to the Holy Capital to study magic.”
This time, it wasn’t a lie.
Lucas really wanted to learn magic.
Only by deeply understanding magic and the Church could he possibly make some effort to change the local prejudices against magic and the Church in Novalis.
“You… are you serious?”
The girl was completely stunned.
She knew Lucas’s family wouldn’t easily agree to his idea.
“But your family situation…”
“I’ll persuade them about the family matters.”
“You’re… not joking?”
An’s voice was still filled with surprise.
“Of course.”
“Why… why would you go this far for me? Why give up your own plans for me?”
“Be… because… I want to help you realize your dream…”
“And my magical talent isn’t bad either…”
Tears once again welled up in the girl’s eyes, but now there was more gratitude and emotion.
“Actually… even though I’m good at machinery, it was all forced on me by my parents…”
“I… I never really had a dream anyway, and I wasn’t interested in that field.”
Now, he had found a dream.
An’s dream was also his dream.
“A… and…”
Lucas hesitated slightly.
“Help… helping the person you like realize their dream… is only right, isn’t it?”
Lucas’s face was completely flushed.
His usually cool, composed expression had completely collapsed.
This was probably the most mushy thing he had ever said in his life.
“Your confession… I never said I accepted it, you know—”
An casually added.
“Huh?… So… so that wasn’t an acceptance?”
So… “not disliking” and “enjoying your company” didn’t count as accepting a confession?
Lucas felt an emptiness in his heart.
“Ouch!”
Lucas’s head was tapped.
Then, the warm sensation of her embrace pressed against him, accompanied by the scent of flowers from An’s skin.
She had thrown herself into his arms, leaving him at a loss.
“Just kidding, silly—”
The girl laughed again.
A stunning smile.
Exactly the same as the smile from the day they first met — the one that had captivated Lucas.
“I accept it…”
Though it was just a whisper in his ear, barely audible, quickly carried away by the wind.
Lucas heard it.
Both of them, having exchanged their feelings, had heard it.
His heart, for the first time in his life, beat with such joy.
He felt like he had found his happiness.