Chapter 168: First First (5)

“How much longer can you hold on?”

“I don’t know, but that’s what living is like. As long as there’s food to eat, I’ll try to keep living. I lack the courage to die, and I can’t bear to let go of the warmth that’s sometimes close, sometimes far.”

“But if you keep going like this, you’ll eventually break.”

“Even so, I don’t want to give up. I can’t afford to make another mistake.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her.”

“Are you going to the Elven Forest? I won’t force you, since you’ve almost finished what you needed to do.”

“I… haven’t decided yet.”

“Whether you go or not is up to you, but understand that the elves won’t show you any kindness.”

“But… I can’t just run away forever, can I? Since I’ve gained power, I have to bear the cost. I’m not that thick-skinned.”

“Indeed…”

“Why are you suddenly concerned about me?”

“I’m just worried that if things continue like this, you two will only repeat the same mistakes in different forms. I want that child to be happy.”

“Same here. That’s why I can’t give up, no matter what.”

Time quietly shifted its angle, from a crisp gold settling into a mellow warm orange, flowing slowly through the room. Tiny specks of dust floated in the air, dancing silently in the beams of light.

Merlin’s long blue eyelashes trembled like butterfly wings a few times, then slowly opened. Her blue eyes were initially veiled with a hazy mist, but the scene that met them instantly turned that mist into a relaxed glimmer.

Mahina sat in the armchair by the bed, her posture still straight but without any tension, instead exuding a natural elegance and tranquility. It seemed the habits of many years as the Duke’s daughter had remained. At that moment, she wasn’t directly looking at Merlin, only slightly tilting her head, her gaze quietly resting on the blooming bellflowers on the windowsill.

Every few seconds, her pinkish-blue eyes would glance sideways at the sleeping Merlin, confirming that her chest was rising and falling with steady breaths, confirming that the person in bed was still at peace. Light and shadow traced a soft outline on her profile, as if Mahina herself were part of this tranquil evening.

Perhaps the weak air current of Merlin’s eyelashes brushing through the air as she woke disturbed her, and Mahina instantly sensed the subtle movement on the bed. She quickly turned her head, the lingering worry in her eyes instantly turning into surprise.

Their eyes met. Her gaze was like snowmelt water in early spring, stripped of past obsessions and madness, leaving only clarity and warmth.

“Merlin, you’re awake?”

Merlin made a nasal sound, her throat a bit dry. “Mm…”

Mahina’s voice was very soft, afraid to shatter the rare tenderness. “You slept soundly.”

Merlin realized that Mahina had been watching over her while she slept, looking at her profile, and she felt a bit shy. Had Mahina actually stayed with Merlin from noon until now?

Seeing Merlin awake, a gentle smile naturally bloomed on her lips, like a spring breeze brushing over a newly opened white lotus. Merlin looked through the gap in the blanket at Mahina’s face, filled with tenderness and concern.

In those clear eyes, there was no boredom from long sitting, no disappointment from being ignored while someone slept—only pure, untainted worry. A hard corner in the depths of her heart was quietly melted by this silent warmth.

Merlin felt that the sticky discomfort in her body had been somewhat dispelled.

“Mm… aside from my waist still being sore, there’s no other problem.”

“That’s good…”

Merlin turned her head to look around the bedroom. It was no different from usual, the only change being Mahina’s presence. And… the towel, mostly soaked, that Mahina had tried to hide behind the chair but had left a corner exposed.

It seemed that during the time she had been unconscious, Mahina had frequently helped wipe away her cold sweat. No wonder… even in the half-asleep nightmare, she felt her whole body sweating as if in a furnace, sticky and uncomfortable, yet there was always a pair of cool hands bringing a refreshing coolness from time to time, pulling her back from the heat.

Merlin lifted the blanket slightly to take a look and found that the nightgown originally soaked with cold sweat had been replaced with a dry, soft new one at some point. Probably Mahina had carefully helped her change while she was fast asleep, right?

Thinking of this, Merlin’s movement to sit up became a bit more pronounced. Mahina immediately leaned over worriedly and pressed down on the blanket corner. “Don’t be silly! You’ll catch a cold.”

“Mm…”

In normal times, perhaps Merlin wouldn’t have given Mahina a pleasant expression. But now the other was taking care of her with all her heart and worrying about her. If Merlin talked back or suddenly drove her away, it would be too heartless. Merlin agreed with Mahina and quietly lay back under the covers.

After sleeping from noon to evening, Merlin felt much more comfortable. Her body was no longer feverish, and she even felt a refreshing sensation. The only discomfort was her waist, sore and painful.

Even though she was still lying down, it felt as if she had been doing heavy physical labor for several days. Even just shifting her body caused such pain that Merlin gritted her teeth. After resting all afternoon, the back pain hadn’t eased but had become even worse.

“Take some medicine. Her Highness Ophelia made a special remedy for you.”

Mahina picked up an exquisite little medicine bottle from the nightstand, pulled out the cork, and gently brought it to Merlin’s lips. Following Mahina’s hand, Merlin stopped being stubborn, tilted her head back like a docile kitten, and obediently drank down the potion.

The potion slid down her throat, and its taste was not the nauseating bitterness she had expected, but instead crisp and sweet, like a cup of warm water with honey. After all, Ophelia best knew her own daughter’s habits—she liked sweetness and feared bitterness.

Ophelia usually didn’t like adding sugar to potions because it might ruin the medicinal effect, but this time she had done her best to remove the bitterness. For her daughter, she had been thoughtful, not wanting Merlin to taste even a bit of bitterness.

After obediently finishing the entire bottle of potion, within a moment, Merlin felt a gentle warmth rising in her lower abdomen, flowing along her meridians to her limbs and bones. Even her aching waist felt as if it had been pressed with a hot towel, much relieved.

Seeing Merlin’s relaxed expression, Mahina smiled. She picked up the slightly cool towel and skillfully wiped the fine cold sweat that had just beaded on Merlin’s forehead.

The distance was so close that Merlin could smell the faint citrus scent on her. Merlin shyly turned her head away, not daring to look directly into those overly gentle eyes.

Mahina didn’t mind Merlin’s avoidance. After putting down the towel, she extended her slender fingers and gently combed Merlin’s slightly disheveled hair near her ears. Her fingertips brushed through her scalp with a reassuring gentleness.

But…