After another long pause, Yun Buran, now completely curled up in Su Nian’s arms, finally spoke.
“When I was little, I thought I was the protagonist of the world because I had gained superpowers.”
“Mom and Dad were both very good to me. I was always a good child, and the teachers and classmates all liked me.”
Su Nian took her small hand and began to play with her fingers, letting her vent more freely.
“But when I was about to start middle school, Dad failed in business, owed a lot of debt, and was exposed for having a mistress outside.”
“For my sake, Mom still didn’t give up on him. They continued to work hard together.”
“But after repeated failures, Dad became depressed and drank at home, while Mom supported us alone.”
“Just at that time, one day I suddenly discovered I had gained this ability.”
“I imagined so many developments like on TV. I thought I would become a magical girl, but I never expected that it was the start of my nightmare.”
“Only then did I realize how dark the thoughts of my close girlfriends were, and how filthy the hearts of my male friends were. It made me start to fear contact with others.”
“I also couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Faced with my inexplicable coldness, they ended up causing me to isolate myself from everyone.”
Su Nian listened patiently. He neither confirmed nor denied that everyone has dark thoughts deep in their hearts, especially at such an immature age.
Jealousy is the root of everything.
“Actually, looking back now, it’s really funny. If the present me went back, I would definitely be able to handle the school life back then.”
“But the fact is I was bullied terribly later. I can’t bully my past self anymore.”
‘Yes, no one has the right to teach the you of that time how to act, not even yourself.’
“What could I do? I was stupid to death back then. I just obediently listened to the teacher and studied very hard. But when I accidentally touched a good friend’s hand, I would hear her scold me for pretending to work hard and being fake.”
“I even foolishly went up to argue, but in everyone’s eyes, it was my fault.”
Su Nian placed another hand on the girl’s head, gently patting it, telling her.
‘I’m here.’
“My school life then became very painful. I was afraid of contact with others, including teachers. Everyone thought I was a child with a strange temper.”
“Until that day…”
Yun Buran said, and couldn’t help trembling slightly.
That time, after finishing tutoring classes and coming home at night, facing a mess, she could only start patiently cleaning up the trash.
Just as she was about to go downstairs to throw away the trash, her once proud father appeared and grabbed her arm.
“Baby, you’ve worked hard.”
He said encouraging words, reeking of alcohol.
But Yun Buran heard the most disgusting inner voice of her life, and also seemed to see the most terrifying scene in her mind.
She screamed, threw the trash at her father, and ran out to call Yun Yuan.
Faced with her devastated daughter, Yun Yuan ultimately unhesitatingly gave up the man she had once deeply loved, even though she thought her daughter might be overreacting a bit.
But upon discovering her daughter’s severe androphobia and miserable school life, Yun Yuan began to work even harder, making money while taking her daughter for active treatment.
With treatment and a school transfer, the androphobia was slightly controlled, but Yun Buran was still so withdrawn. She no longer dared to get closer to anyone. The mother and daughter only had each other left.
“Actually, at that time, I felt I was so unlucky that I wanted to die.”
Yun Buran said this calmly.
“But I can’t! Mom really, really gave a lot for me. Even though she couldn’t empathize with me, her love was real.”
“I could only study very, very hard. That way, when I saw Mom coming home tired and late, I could feel a bit better.”
After entering high school, Yun Buran began to hate herself deeply.
Because her hard work did not get equal returns; she had to put in a hundred times the effort to achieve what others did effortlessly.
She deeply disliked the child of her mother’s colleague, who was always showing off how excellent their child was.
Thinking of her mother’s embarrassed look at a certain dinner party, Yun Buran worked like crazy.
Finally, she completely surpassed that “other people’s child” in every aspect, but she found herself still insanely jealous.
When she got into the key class, she only received her mother’s congratulations over the phone, promising to take her out for a big meal next weekend.
But that classmate who was inferior to her went on a family trip during the holiday.
She felt she was very ridiculous, but she didn’t blame her mother. She envied others’ happiness and talent, and if she slackened off even a little, others would leave her behind.
So she hated her useless self, her jealous self, her weak self. The girl had once fantasized that she was the protagonist of fate, but she was just a victim of bad luck.
She had been living alone in pain, until that person appeared.
Yun Buran had always been at school: she was only polite with girls, never interacted with boys, and didn’t speak much. Plus, as a day student, she never formed deep friendships even with girls.
She just immersed herself in her sea of practice problems every day. Whenever she got tired, she would put on earphones and empty her mind, but she never played music.
This allowed her to overhear many gossip from the girls. Even though she hated them—they clearly spent all day focusing on useless things, yet they could still get grades as good as hers.
Until Su Nian enrolled. This boy, from the moment he entered their school, dominated most of the topics among both boys and girls.
Yun Buran was extremely jealous of this genius. Su Nian was the type of person she found most disgusting—so perfect that he made her feel ashamed of herself.
But with so many legends about him, the girl also felt a trace of curiosity.
She had once observed Su Nian from a distance. At that time, he was still in military training, and many people went to watch. She was too far away to see clearly, but even with her deteriorating eyesight, she did admit that this boy was very good-looking.
Especially once, after finishing lunch, she planned to head straight to the teaching building to find a place to study, but accidentally saw the boy on campus. He was smiling gently, petting a stray cat.
That boy had recently taken first place in the first year of high school by a landslide score, and had also won provincial awards in three major competitions.
Wasn’t someone so perfect supposedly aloof, arrogant, and cold? But his gentle smile made even Yun Buran feel very warm.
Yun Buran couldn’t concentrate on her problems for a long time afterward. Her greatest object of envy remained Su Nian—the boy had everything she wanted—but it also carried a hint of admiration.
Some people are born protagonists, destined for greatness. She had no blessing from heaven; she was destined to be insignificant.
Maybe in the end, she would break under the pressure and die in that summer before the Gaokao.
No one would remember her well; they would just lament that a pretty senior had jumped due to too much pressure, and ask if they could get a day off.
This was Yun Buran, an ordinary person with a bit of bad luck.
“But the present you is amazing.”
“In less than two weeks, didn’t you return to the top ten in your grade?”
Su Nian coaxed her softly.
“It’s because of you.”
Yun Buran whispered in his arms.
‘But effort is truly Yun Buran’s greatest talent; that is never a lie or rhetoric.’
“So I’ve always believed that you only need to take the first step on the right path, and you can start sprinting all the way.”
“Su Nian, without you, I can’t move forward at all.”
Yun Buran said with a bit of a pout, her voice, which had just vented emotions, sounding as soft as a kitten’s.
“No, Yun Buran. You are the kind of person who can bring redemption to yourself. I firmly believe that.”
“I am just a trivial teacher during this period of your life. Even without me, you would keep improving through setbacks.”
“I can’t argue with you. I just want you to stay with me.”
“Just stay by my side, and I will work hard in every way.”
Her voice was very soft, but you could hear a heavy determination.
But Su Nian released his embrace and said seriously to her.
“I hate a person who is not independent in personality, you know?”
Yun Buran looked at his serious expression. Grievance surged again, stinging her eyes, but this time she held back and didn’t let tears fall.
“If you leave me, I would rather let the world be destroyed.”
“I don’t care.”
Su Nian couldn’t help but laugh.
“I don’t ask you to love me now, but can you give me a little more time?”
“Stay with me more, wait for me more. I will do my best to become the person you love.”
Yun Buran said humbly but stubbornly.
“When you say something like that, I will never have any feelings for you.”
“Then what should I do?!”
“Even if I have to save myself, don’t I need a motivation?”
Yun Buran asked back excitedly. After experiencing light, she could no longer bear the darkness.
“Then borrow my life creed for reference.”
He was still smiling gently, but Yun Buran hated him being so gentle.
“In the end, I will definitely become the best.”