Chapter 92: Going out

By evening, Qin Siyu returned once more, bringing some food.

“I want to see Sister…”

“President Ye will not see you.”

“Why?”

“Because you are too good—so good that President Ye cannot bear to hurt you.”

“I…”

Su Ling wanted to say he wasn’t good. He wasn’t good at all; he was always making his sister angry and always thinking of running away. But he couldn’t find the words. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to accept her love, and he certainly didn’t want to remain imprisoned like this, but he truly could not lose her. She was his only family left; without her, he would have nothing.

Qin Siyu left. Before departing, she gave Su Ling a deep look, as if seeing right through him—or perhaps she was pondering how to convince President Ye to send him to the Juvenile Slave Pavilion.

Su Ling sat in the studio and cried for a while until his strength failed him. He hadn’t eaten much at lunch and hadn’t eaten since; he was already famished. He struggled to crawl up from the floor and walked over to the food, eating slowly.

It tasted terrible. He didn’t like these dishes; he even felt a surge of nausea as he ate. He craved the food his sister used to cook for him. At the thought that he would eventually have to leave her and never eat her cooking again, his tears fell uncontrollably.

At that moment, Ye Moran was also eating, though her eyes were fixed on the surveillance screen. Seeing the “little fellow” cry, she desperately wanted to go wipe away his tears. But she had decided to adapt to a life without him, so he had to get used to it too—he had to get used to a life without her.

It has to be this way. Her nails dug deep into her palms, her gaze never blinking as she stared at the screen. She told herself over and over: Let go, let go… In the past, at this hour, she would have held him until he fell asleep. Now, there was nothing.

The next day, Ye Moran remained glued to the computer screen, her brow furrowing and relaxing repeatedly. Her fingers tapped on the desk, creating a dull, rhythmic thud.

Today, Su Ling didn’t cry. At least, he hadn’t yet. He didn’t paint; he didn’t do anything. After finishing lunch, he simply sat there in a daze.

This was very bad. Why wasn’t he crying? Was he no longer hurting? Or did she only matter enough for him to cry for two days?

She didn’t want to think that way, but she couldn’t control herself; the thoughts swirled frantically in her mind. She knew her illness was acting up again, but she didn’t want to take her medicine. The thought that the boy had only cried for two days over her disappearance filled her with an inexplicable irritability.

Su Ling sat by the window, staring blankly at the scenery outside until evening. Qin Siyu entered again with food.

“This meal was made by President Ye herself. She asked me to ask you why you didn’t eat lunch.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Will you eat this, then?”

“I don’t want to…”

“Then what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

Su Ling’s gaze remained fixed outside, watching the sunset slowly dip below the horizon. He didn’t know what he should do or what expression he should wear. He wanted to do nothing but sit there. His sister didn’t want him anymore. He had intended to go study painting, but though he stood before the studio, he couldn’t bring himself to enter. What if he learned? If he succeeded, she would only use it as a reason to say goodbye. That would only make him leave her sooner.

As long as I stay here, at least I’m still by her side, he thought naively, and his mood brightened slightly.

Ye Moran frowned; she hated his answer.

“Give him elevator access,” she said through the Bluetooth headset. “Tell him he can… go out tomorrow!”

The instruction made Qin Siyu’s brow twitch slightly, but she faithfully relayed the message.

“Go out?” Su Ling murmured the words. Once, they would have made him happy for days. Now, he felt a flicker of fear.

Why was he afraid? Was it because she was about to abandon him?

“I don’t want to go out…” Su Ling’s voice was calm, almost dazed.

Ye Moran watched the screen in confusion. Hadn’t he wanted to leave more than anything before? What was he doing now? Rejecting a chance at freedom? She couldn’t understand. She had given him his liberty; why didn’t he want it? Was it not enough? Or did he want something else?

No, that couldn’t be it. He had always wanted to escape, always wanted to be far away from her. Freedom should be what he craved most. Was he plotting something? But what could he possibly plot?

Ye Moran racked her brain but couldn’t make sense of his behavior. She thought late into the night until she could no longer endure it. She went directly to the top floor.

She moved silently, like a ghost entering the room. It was pitch black; the boy hadn’t turned on the lights and appeared to be asleep. He was curled tightly into a ball under the covers, which rose and fell with his breathing.

Ye Moran frowned instinctively. She walked over and gently lifted the quilt, repositioned him, and tucked him back in. She didn’t understand why he always slept with his head buried like that; she had tried it once and found it suffocating.

After finishing, she watched him quietly. On a whim, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

She had come in intending to interrogate him about his true thoughts, but seeing his peaceful sleeping face, she couldn’t bring herself to disturb him. With a deep sigh, she turned to leave. But as she took a step, she felt something tugging at her from behind.

She looked back to see him watching her, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Sister, don’t go…”

Ye Moran remained silent for a moment before firmly pulling her hem from his grasp.

“You must learn to be independent. Learn to survive on your own. Don’t rely on me for everything. Starting tomorrow, study painting in the morning, and in the afternoon, go out for a walk.”

“Do you hear me?”

“Sister… are you abandoning me?”

“Yes. So you must study hard and strive to become someone who can live on their own, rather than relying on me for every little thing!”

As she spoke those words, Ye Moran felt a sharp pain in her chest, as if her heart were being torn apart. It was an unspeakable pain that pierced her soul. She dug her nails into her palms; the intense physical pain allowed her to remain calm. She desperately wanted to tell him that she wasn’t abandoning him—she was trying to give him the ability to survive in this world.

But…

She turned and forced herself to walk out. She couldn’t come here anymore. She had to make him learn independence as quickly as possible so that she could go and focus on her treatment in peace.

Su Ling sat on the bed. He wanted to chase after her, to beg her to stay, to tell her so many things… but watching her retreating back, he didn’t dare. He was terrified—terrified that she truly didn’t want him anymore.

Why? Why had things turned out this way?