Mashina gripped Merlin’s bloodstained collar tightly, her body trembling violently.
“Because I was jealous…”
“When I saw you holding that huge bouquet of flowers, when I heard they were from your ‘sweetheart’… do you know how jealous I was? I was so jealous I almost went insane! I was jealous to the point that my very innards were burning!”
Mashina closed her eyes, tears flowing like a broken dam, washing away the dried blood on her face.
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore… I thought you found someone better than me, that you sold our memories just to please someone else… That feeling was worse than death.”
“That’s why I wanted to hurt you…”
She lowered her head and buried her face in the crook of Merlin’s neck, weeping inconsolably like a child who had done something wrong that could never be undone.
“I’m just a despicable person… Seeing you suffer for my sake, I actually felt relieved… How did I become so ugly?”
“You were right, Merlin… The truly ugly one is me.”
“I’m a coward who only uses lies to hide my insecurity… That so-called fiance was just a fig leaf to cover the fact that ‘I only have you.’”
Mashina looked up, the arrogant pride in her eyes replaced by nothing but humility.
“I don’t have a fiance, and my life at the Taran house wasn’t actually that good… When I hit a wall with my magic… I could only cry under the covers…”
“I only have you… Merlin.”
“From start to finish, whether it was that dirty Mashina from the slums or this polished daughter of a Duke… in my heart, there has only ever been you!”
“It was me who didn’t believe you. I’m the one who pushed you to this point. I actually didn’t believe in someone who was willing to die for me.”
She cupped Merlin’s face, carefully avoiding the bloodstains, her fingertips trembling.
“I was too stupid, blinded by jealousy… I’m the one who caused this…”
“I don’t ask for your forgiveness… someone like me doesn’t deserve to be forgiven…”
Mashina’s voice was so choked with sobs it was almost unintelligible as she pressed her forehead against Merlin’s again.
“But I beg you… don’t die.”
“As long as you’re alive… even if you hate me for the rest of your life, even if you never want to see me again… as long as you’re alive, it’s enough.”
“Don’t leave me alone… Merlin… don’t make me live in a world without you.”
However, Merlin’s head could not bear such violent screaming; she only caught the gist of what Mashina was saying, and her ears were starting to throb.
“Heh… I’m happy.”
She no longer had the strength to judge Mashina’s sincerity.
Mashina understood; Merlin still didn’t believe her.
Merlin had been hurt too deeply.
What should she do… Mashina was so anxious she wanted to dig out her own heart and show it to her!
Why wasn’t it her who was dying…?
‘What use are you… Mashina?’
Suddenly, Mashina realized something was wrong.
The scent of earth? No!
Mixed within the scent of earth was the mana of a magical beast.
Mashina snapped her head up, her pupils shrinking instantly.
Of course… how could a magical beast capable of triggering a mudslide of that magnitude not be able to use magic?
The beast hadn’t used magic during the earlier fight, whether it was to intentionally lower Mashina’s guard or because it needed time to recover its mana after such a massive spell.
But the reason no longer mattered.
Although the beast’s movements were temporarily sealed by the ice, Mashina was already a spent candle, and Merlin’s life or death behind her remained uncertain.
In the end, the beast had won.
A dull cracking sound echoed from above. Several massive stalactite columns, sharp as spears, broke free under the beast’s control and were about to come crashing down on the two helpless girls.
Would Mashina run?
Impossible. She would never leave Merlin alone again; she had just promised that.
Mashina turned around. Instead of looking at the giant rocks overhead, she spread her arms and used her slender back to shield the weakened Merlin, pressing Merlin’s head deep into her chest.
Even if they died together like this, she would accept it.
Mashina closed her eyes, a faint smile playing on her lips.
After all… if Merlin really died to save her…
Mashina wouldn’t have the courage to go on living alone with such guilt.
“Boss! Exchange! It’s the only way!”
‘An exchange?’
At this moment, Merlin’s mind was hazy from the blood loss.
She felt like she was still conscious.
‘Sleepiness? It doesn’t feel that strong?’ Merlin believed she could stay awake for a little while longer.
But regardless, her brain simply wouldn’t function properly; everything was a blurry, dizzying fog.
“Boss, *sob sob sob*!”
“We don’t want this either, but you really can’t die! You absolutely cannot come over to this side, *waaaa*!”
“Boss should at least grow for another 1,000 years before coming over to play! We won’t allow it! You don’t need to come here!”
“Boss is still so tiny! Your soul has only grown into a tiny little thing, and it’s all tattered. It’s only the size of one soybean! You can’t become a tiny spirit when you’re already this tiny, *sniffle*.”
‘What are these guys talking about?’
‘And why are there more and more of them?’
‘Weren’t there only about a dozen when they first called out? There must be hundreds of them now.’
Indeed… even though Merlin hadn’t called them initially, the fairies had appeared anyway.
Merlin watched as the swarms of deep blue and azure fairies fluttered around her, chirping incessantly.
“Boss, stop dazing off!”
“You’re just a tiny thing! It’s no fun at all over here! Go back, go back!”
“It’s better to go back and get scolded than to go back and get slaughtered! Don’t die, *sob sob*.”
‘What do they want…?’
The groggy Merlin was becoming genuinely annoyed by their noise.
“Let’s make the exchange! Boss, even if it’s just to restore a little bit of your health.”
“Exchange what?”
“Um… it’s making a wish with your soul.”
‘Ah… that.’
Although she was an elf princess who knew nothing of the world, Ophelia had explained this to her once.
Merlin looked at Mashina, who was holding her close, and made her decision.
Although Ophelia had warned her it was dangerous, it was better than dying.
Even if there were risks involved… the fairies were right; it was better than being dead.
With a flicker of hope for survival, Merlin realized she only had a few seconds left. The monster’s magic was about to hit.
‘How do I do it… How do I cut off a piece of my soul to make a wish, just like my mother, Cecilia?’
Forget it, there was no more time to think. She just had to do it.
Merlin considered which part of her soul she should cut.
‘Cecilia probably cut away a bit of her gender and race, which caused her to briefly turn into a boy.’
‘Should I repeat my mother’s method? It’s the safest way. Even if there are many side effects later, at least it isn’t life-threatening?’
‘No…’
‘How should I put it?’
‘Although I was very resistant at first — of course, partly because I cared about what others thought… I was worried about being seen as a pervert.’
‘But I really feel like my current life as a girl is quite good. I’m happy every day.’
‘I kind of… don’t want to… yeah.’
ok but the flowers happened quite recently? what about before? like really, I’d need suuuuch a good reason to stop disliking that girl.