Chapter 62: Are You a Bad Person?

Litt forced these tangled thoughts down for the time being, quietly rising from the sofa and walking over to Red.

She seemed to sense a faint smell of alcohol lingering in the air.

“But…”

She lowered her voice, a trace of barely perceptible concern coloring her words, “Red? You… seem to have had quite a bit to drink?”

She took a small step forward, leaning her body in ever so slightly.

The tip of her delicate nose twitched almost imperceptibly, as if trying to gauge the strength of the alcohol on him.

There was a cautious probing to this gesture, yet it was not at all off-putting.

“Did something troublesome happen?”

She lifted her clear gaze to him and asked softly.

Facing that sincerely concerned face, Red’s heart gave a little jolt.

He didn’t try to hide anything, but only revealed a bitter and helpless smile, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I ran into Liz.”

He didn’t go into detail, but that single name was enough to explain a lot.

“The Lord once said, ‘Drinking only deepens sorrow,’”

Litt, instead of getting upset, brought her hands together as if in prayer.

“So if something’s troubling you, you can come to me, you know,”

Of course, the Lord had never said anything like that.

“…Alright.”

Perhaps only someone as pure as Litt, at such a time, wouldn’t scold or pry, but offer this gentle comfort instead?

Her character, just like her appearance, was simply angelic.

Litt sat down.

After offering her comfort, she didn’t press Red for details about what he’d encountered.

Instead, she simply looked at him thoughtfully.

After a long moment, she finally spoke, her words soft.

“Um, Red…”

“The beginning of next month is the White Church’s important ‘Bright Dawn Festival’…”

It seemed as if the girl had mustered all her courage just to utter this invitation.

“Would you… like to go with me?”

She lowered her head, her hands fidgeting as if she didn’t know what to do with them, clearly afraid Red might refuse.

Seeing Lit so nervous and expectant, Red was momentarily stunned.

Then, an indescribable warmth flooded his heart, and he couldn’t help but let out a light laugh.

Yet the smile on his face carried a hint of helplessness.

If only Litt were just an ordinary nun…

Someone as radiant as her, compared to someone as down-and-out and aimless as himself, truly was like a holy Snow Mountain, soaring into the clouds with no peak in sight.

His yearning was genuine, and so was his affection.

But it was precisely because this yearning and affection were so intense that he couldn’t even reach out a finger, fearing he’d taint her in some way.

What’s more, Red still couldn’t understand why Litt would look after him so thoroughly.

After what happened with Blade of Dawn, he no longer believed in any stories about Ugly Ducklings turning into White Swans.

An Ugly Duckling was an Ugly Duckling from beginning to end; those at the bottom would always remain at the bottom.

The gulf between himself and Litt—by status alone—was a chasm he would never be able to cross in this lifetime.

Rather than nurture empty hopes, perhaps it was better to give up from the very start…

…Should he refuse?

The thought had only just risen before a stronger wave of bitterness drowned it out.

Looking at Litt, so anxious and full of expectation, words of refusal became a heavy block of lead stuck in his throat—he couldn’t spit them out, nor swallow them down.

He knew all too well how that felt.

The cold looks from Blade of Dawn, the constant blame and questions even after he thought he’d done his best—he’d tasted that icy pain far too many times.

Even though the light that shone from Litt made Red feel inferior and as if she were unreachable,

Even knowing he and she could never truly be together, looking at Litt’s nervous profile, Red’s sigh in the end became a compromise.

At the very least… he didn’t want to personally extinguish this beam of light that had pulled him from the darkness.

“…Alright.”

He tried to make his reply sound light, as if it were nothing more than casual conversation:

“Sounds like a lively festival? I don’t think I’ve ever attended a big church event—might as well go take a look.”

Hearing this, Litt raised her head, all her uncertainty and gloom swept away.

Maybe Red’s agreement had made her so happy she was at a loss for words, so she simply nodded with all her might.

“Mhm!”

The White Nun’s smile was so pure and bright, dazzling like the sun, it almost stung Red’s eyes.

Let’s leave it at that…

Just go and take a look…

Keep your distance…

Red repeated these words to himself, over and over in his heart.

After they were full and content, Litt began to clean up the mess on the table.

Seeing this, Red quickly spoke up.

“Let me do the cleaning, at least. After all, you made dinner.”

“No need,” Litt replied with a smile, “You drank quite a lot, Red. Go take a bath and get some rest.”

“…Alright.”

In the end, Red nodded.

But just before heading into the bathroom, he couldn’t help but glance at Litt once more.

“Litt, why did you help me back then?”

Calling it help didn’t feel quite right; Red felt more like he’d been taken in by Litt.

As for the reason, he couldn’t figure it out.

To say that Litt liked him, now that he thought about it calmly… that seemed unrealistic.

So asking this question, perhaps, was just his way of trying to understand what was truly on Litt’s mind.

Hearing Red’s confusion, Litt paused in clearing the dishes, thought for a moment, then smiled and answered.

“Maybe… it was for my own sake?”

“In helping you, I’m also helping myself,”

“With two people, at least it doesn’t feel so lonely.”

Red was a little surprised by this answer.

Lonely?

“Litt, you…”

Red’s voice was filled with incredulous hesitation, “Have you always been alone?”

“Yes.”

Litt nodded.

Her voice was light, as if she were stating a long-accustomed fact.

She picked up a rag, gently wiped the table, and continued:

“But, in the end, does helping someone really need so many reasons?”

“Even in the deepest, darkest forest,” she lifted her head to look at Red, those icy blue eyes especially bright in the lamplight, “pure goodwill will always exist.”

As she said this, a genuine, warm smile appeared on her face.

“It’s not just the Lord’s teaching. When I help others, I truly feel happy from the bottom of my heart.”

Looking at that pure expression on Litt’s face, like a girl who’d never tasted any of the darkness of humanity, Red sighed.

“What if the person you help is a bad person?”

Truth be told, the question was a little sharp, even spoiling the warmth of the moment.

But Litt only stopped what she was doing, slowly turned around, and faced Red directly.

Her clear, unfathomable eyes just looked at him.

“Then…”

“Red,”

“Are you a bad person?”