Chapter 52: Letting Go

He Rou didn’t know how long she had been walking.

When the familiar building appeared at the edge of her vision, her entire body swayed weakly.

It was Luo Yun’s home.

She dragged herself to the gate.

There was a fingerprint lock there.

Her trembling hand reached out and gently pressed against it.

Beep—

The door opened.

He Rou struggled to move herself inside.

The moment she reached the entrance, her body gave out.

Old wounds had reopened, and the cold wind had gnawed at her.

She collapsed onto the floor.

It was warm here.

She closed her eyes, trying to think of nothing.

But she needed to take a shower and change clothes first.

The discomfort that clung to her whole body wouldn’t go away, even if she stopped thinking.

…

After finally cleaning herself up, He Rou lay down on her bed.

“The National College Entrance Examination…”

This setback had hit her hard.

She didn’t know if she should keep chasing that elusive dream.

But people need something to hold on to.

If she truly gave up, living would become nothing but torment, and an unbearable emptiness would wrap itself around her.

Outside the window, the sky turned from white to black.

No lights were on in the villa, except for one that stayed on twenty-four hours a day.

From the outside, the villa showed no signs of anyone living there.

He Rou lay in bed, a thick blanket covering her.

She felt like she had a fever.

She had sensed something was wrong the moment she got into bed, but she hadn’t thought much about it then.

But now, ignoring it was no longer an option.

Pain seeped out from deep within her bones.

Even though it was warm around her, even though she was buried under a thick blanket, and even though her own body was drenched in sweat, the waves of chills wouldn’t stop. She still felt cold.

She hadn’t eaten or drunk anything all day.

She wasn’t hungry, but the thirst was real.

Her lips were cracked.

She wanted to move, but she also didn’t want to.

Two opposing thoughts twisted her nerves inside her head.

Loneliness—a drowning kind of loneliness—saturated her body.

At times like this, she always sank into the gentle world she had built for herself.

In that world, she had her grandmother.

She had Luo Yun, who treated her like a friend when they were kids.

She had Luo Yun’s mother, who gave her maternal love.

No fires.

No disasters.

Everything was wonderful.

But it was all just imagination.

Before He Rou could fully leave that world, the phone on her bedside table suddenly rang, yanking her back and cutting the connection.

In the quiet room, the ringtone was startling.

He Rou’s heart clenched.

With trembling hands, she brought the phone to her face.

“Luo Yun”

With shaking fingers, she pressed the answer button.

She didn’t dare speak first.

She pressed the phone tightly against her ear, held her breath, and didn’t even dare to breathe loudly.

The other end of the line was quiet, too.

After a moment, Luo Yun’s voice came through—so familiar it made He Rou’s scalp tingle.

“Skipped school?”

Luo Yun’s voice was soft, even carrying a hint of amusement.

“Sorry…”

He Rou opened her mouth. Her throat was hoarse.

“Did Xiao Rou learn her lesson?”

“Today… I didn’t go to class…”

“I’m not talking about that. I’m saying—did you learn how scary the outside world can be?”

“What… do you mean? I… I don’t understand…”

“Oh, I see. Of course, just once wouldn’t be enough for Xiao Rou to learn. In that case, this is your choice. And the opportunity… I’ll only give it to you once. You have to go to school. What kind of treatment you receive—I don’t care about that. But… if one day you figure it out, you can call me. And then… I’ll fix everything for you. But your opportunity will disappear. Your whole life… Heh.”

Luo Yun’s tone suddenly became incredibly seductive, yet incredibly cruel.

He Rou’s hands shook so badly she could barely hold the phone.

She didn’t know if Luo Yun was giving her a choice or mocking her.

“I understand. I’ll keep going…”

He Rou closed her eyes and used every ounce of strength to say those words.

“I want to change. Even if there’s only a sliver of a chance.”

There was a brief silence on the other end.

“Good luck, then.”

Luo Yun said those final words and hung up.

Beep—beep—

He Rou tossed the phone aside and collapsed onto the bed.

The feverish heat didn’t fade after Luo Yun’s call.

Instead, it burned even stronger.

She refused to accept fate.

Even if her fate had already been reduced to ashes, she didn’t want to rot away in confusion.

He Rou felt as if mountains stood before her—school, classmates, teachers…

She had read the story of Yu Gong Who Moves Mountains.

If she could remove all of this, would she be like a “light boat that has passed ten thousand mountains”?

He Rou thought.

In this world, if you don’t bite, you’ll be bitten to death by others.

He Rou opened her eyes and stared at the pitch-black ceiling for a long time.

It wasn’t until three in the morning that she slowly sat up from the bed.

She didn’t turn on the lights.

She left the room in complete darkness.

He Rou walked slowly.

Each step was firm.

She entered the living room.

It was large, and in the dead of night, it looked somewhat eerie.

On the coffee table in the living room rested a wooden tray.

On that tray lay a craft knife with a brownish surface.

That was from back then.

Luo Yun had made her use that knife to slice open the cat’s flesh, one cut at a time.

He Rou still remembered the look in the cat’s eyes before it died.

She remembered the feeling of warm blood splashing onto her palm.

She stepped forward, reached out, and grabbed the handle.

The traces that had never been wiped clean clung to it like a viper’s fangs.

She had to learn to protect herself.

And within that shield of protection, she thought of Cheng Ruo.

Cheng Ruo had said she wasn’t normal, and that most people in that school weren’t normal either.

And He Rou herself felt she wasn’t normal.

If this was the only way to protect herself, then she wanted to try going mad.

She could reason.

She could talk about morals, laws, school rules, and the things normal people said.

But when facing people who weren’t normal, she had to learn to deal with them in an abnormal way.

She gripped the craft knife tightly in her hand.

At that moment, a sense of unprecedented calm settled in her heart.

But the discomfort from the fever wouldn’t go away.

After figuring things out, He Rou staggered to where the medical kit was kept and took out some fever medicine.

The next morning.

He Rou woke up later than usual. It might have been the sedative in the medicine.

But it was still fine for getting to school—just the right time, even a little early.

But that didn’t matter anymore.

Today, she was going to deal with the person who had created the problem.

She could be weak, but only in front of Luo Yun.

She could be timid, but only in front of herself.

She could be brave, but only in front of life.