To Live is a painful book. It is an interpretation of suffering, telling the story of the vicissitudes and hardships in the life of an old man in his twilight years. From the wandering son of a landlord family to a lonely widower, the cruelty of fate and the helplessness of the protagonist in the face of it are visible everywhere.
Gu Yu could not really put himself in the character’s shoes. They were figures from different eras, starting from different points. But the book began in a flashback; seeing the old man’s lonely and helpless end, he could not help but look toward his own conclusion.
‘I had long ago lost everything I could rely on, and I do not expect the people around me now to walk into the future with me. Decades later, when my hair is gray at the temples, I am not sure if I will become another “Fugui”.’
He did not want to keep reading. Gu Yu closed the book and glanced at He Yu opposite him. The girl looked serious, one hand supporting herself on the table, leaning against her face. She looked lazy, with the demeanor of a mastermind overlooking a boring farce.
After graduating from middle school, the first person Gu Yu met was Luo Ming, but the first person he became familiar with was He Yu. Their seats were very close. The girl had a lively and cheerful personality and was easy to talk to, often chatting with him about all sorts of things.
Gu Yu truly regarded her as a friend, just like his best friend Chen Yang. Perhaps he was even more familiar with He Yu. Although her face was beautiful enough to compete with Luo Ming and her figure was even more prominent than Luo Ming’s, his friendship with He Yu remained pure and flawless.
“Student Gu Yu is so impatient that he can’t even finish it?” He Yu glanced at him, her tone playful.
“I’ve read enough books at school. If I’m tortured any further, I’ll start eyeing the bank across the street.”
“Then what do you usually do on the weekends?”
“Work.”
“Oh, I almost forgot, you have to earn money.” The boy’s answer was dull and helpless. He Yu sighed and looked at him teasingly. “Then have you ever thought about finding a sugar mama to cling to? Those rich older women should really like a well-behaved and handsome boy like you. Oh, wait, your small frame probably wouldn’t survive the juicer’s pressure.”
Gu Yu thought for a moment and asked somewhat shamelessly, “Why can’t there be a beautiful young sugar mama?”
“A beautiful young sugar mama wouldn’t be a juicer? And even if there were, you’d still like your precious Luo Ming, wouldn’t you?”
“I like Luo Ming, and she —” Gu Yu lost his composure in a panic. The next second, realizing his words were a dead giveaway, he lowered his voice. “I said I didn’t like Luo Ming, right?”
“Do you think everyone is as stupid as you? If you don’t like Luo Ming, do you like me instead?”
“Definitely not.”
He Yu stood up and gave Gu Yu a light flick to the forehead. She looked at him indignantly, her beautiful eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. “Answering so bluntly? Is this young lady really that unlikable to you?”
“No, no, Boss He, you’ve misunderstood. I just —”
Gu Yu’s words caught in his throat. He studied He Yu, who was standing across the table with her hands on her hips. Her delicate cheeks were cute and beautiful, her skin was white and fine, and her slender figure could be seen even under the thick clothing. The curves of her chest were not immature at all.
She was a perfect example of a girlfriend — beautiful, lively, and excellent. Gu Yu didn’t have zero feelings for her, but they were limited to friendship.
“Just what? Just that your heart is full of your School Beauty Luo Ming?” He Yu stared at Gu Yu with resentful eyes.
“I… I never said that.”
“Actually, I wasn’t sure at first, but your reaction just now gave me the answer. When do you plan to confess?”
“Forget it.” Gu Yu lowered his eyes, his misty gaze filled with helplessness. “I won’t confess. We’ll end up separating when we go to university anyway.”
He had never considered the possibility of a long-distance relationship. He did not think he had enough shining points to attract Luo Ming.
He Yu did not intend to encourage this silly boy. Using such a small trick to guess a boy’s feelings for another girl was already a bad experience, and she had received an affirmative answer that made her feel even worse.
She was not generous enough to bring her crush and another girl together.
“Why call me Boss?” He Yu changed the subject somewhat stiffly.
Gu Yu followed her lead, shifting the sad atmosphere. “Because I used to call you Class Monitor. It’s not appropriate now, and calling you by your name feels too distant. Besides, I think if you were in the mafia, you would definitely be the type of person who could become the Boss, so I just called you that.”
“I’m not in the mafia! Even if I were, I wouldn’t take such a silly subordinate like you. You blockhead.” He Yu poked Gu Yu’s forehead and lectured him in dissatisfaction.
“Then what should I call you? How about you work hard the next time we elect a Class Monitor?”
“I won’t. I’m as tired as a husky every day, so I don’t want to do it anymore. If you want, how about calling me… ‘Yu’er’?” He Yu laughed teasingly.
“Is that okay? I’ll just call you by your name, He Yu.”
“You just said it was distant. You’re not even willing to call me ‘Yu’er’. Go be with your precious Luo Ming.”
She put on a crying face again, pretending to be weak and pitiful, her playful and mischievous nature on full display.
“Luo Ming would have to be willing to take me first. No, wait, what kind of messy drama is this? Think about it, if someone else heard me calling you that, it would be too inappropriate, wouldn’t it?”
“Then you’d be willing to call me that in private?”
“I… I don’t think I can say it. It’s too embarrassing.”
“Forget it, forget it. You should just keep calling me Boss.” He Yu waved her hand, giving up on her little scheme. “Then can I call you by your nickname, Xiao Yu?”
“Don’t. That’s what Sister Qianxin calls me. It sounds too strange coming from you.”
“Oh, I see. One moment it’s Luo Ming, the next it’s Sister Qianxin. Gu Yu, you’re just biased toward other women! You really have a lot of girls around you. Are you trying to start a harem, Emperor?”
Gu Yu had a bitter expression, unable to keep up with the girl’s jumping logic. He explained seriously, “I treat Sister Qianxin as an older sister. She’s just more familiar with me. How is that a harem?”
He thought for a moment and added jokingly, “If being familiar with me means liking me, then Boss, are you one of them? Should I bestow the title of Noble Consort upon you?”
“Forget it. You’re such a blockhead that you don’t even dare to confess. Some harem that would be.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
Gu Yu calmly confirmed the girl’s words. The relaxed atmosphere allowed him to become frank about the fact that his love was unrequited. He checked the time; it was already noon, and he was a little hungry.
“Want to go eat?” He Yu closed her book and was the first to suggest it. “As a reward for accompanying me to the bookstore, the Boss will treat you to a meal.”
“There’s no need… I came here voluntarily.”
“Does this subordinate not know how to listen to his Boss?” He Yu tapped his head lightly with her book.
“Alright, then I’ll take a free meal from the Boss.”
Gu Yu took his scarf from the table and put it back on. He Yu bought the copy of *To Live* in his hand from the Boss of the bookstore and left with him.