Chapter 36: I Hate You… But Not the Kind I Can Truly Hate

“Yezhe, you…”

As she took the Egg Cake box from the delivery man’s hands, a massive wave surged within the girl’s heart, catching her off guard and leaving her in a miserable state.

“Hmm? Did I buy the wrong flavor?”

Was it an undying love for the boy? Or was it a deep sense of guilt over her desire to consume him? Or perhaps it was the pleasure of satisfaction from the fantasy of pinning him down and possessing him?

“You can’t blame me for this. You never told me what flavor you liked. If you want to blame someone, blame the shop; they recommended it to me.”

She wasn’t sure. Or rather, it was all of the above.

“It’s not that…”

She felt fortunate to have met the boy during her most difficult moments, finding a pillar of support to help her through her hardships.

However, the overflowing desire within her body also forced her to wonder whether all of this was a temptation pulling her into hell, or a guide leading her toward a bright future…

Nights without the boy’s company were agonizing.

Whether it was the sense of emptiness in her heart or the burning, aching sensation below, both tore at the girl’s sanity as crudely as a wild beast…

But when the morning Sun arrived and she went to work, whether it was the Breakfast the boy helped buy in the morning or the idle chatter they shared during breaks, she could forget everything then.

“Thank you.”

Yet when the Sun set, whether she was going to the Hospital or returning to that lifeless Home, emotions more agonizing than the previous night would strike…

“Yezhe…”

She couldn’t count how many nights she had woken up startled while calling the boy’s name. She couldn’t count…

Just as she couldn’t remember how many times she had repeatedly called out those two specific syllables while reaching the peak of desire.

“Ye. Zhe…”

***

She didn’t know when it started… but this guilty aura began seeking her out during the day.

Watching the boy’s busy back, she had thought more than once about simply pinning him down and staining every inch of his body with her scent without leaving a single trace behind…

“Yezhe? Yezhe?”

It was one afternoon when the Sun was at its hottest point of the day.

After finishing the cleaning, Yezhe took advantage of the lack of customers to doze off at the Store counter.

“Hmm? Why aren’t you answering me?”

“…”

The sound of steady breathing traveled through the air along with the whirring of the nearby Fan.

With his eyes slightly lowered and his well-defined wrists exposed, Yudong quietly watched the boy’s profile, admiring this rare, beautiful sight.

At first, there was only a sense of admiration for the scenery in the girl’s heart. But after a few minutes passed…

The thumping of her heart inside her chest became deafening. Her breathing grew so rapid that Yudong felt a bit dizzy for a moment.

Desire continuously teased the girl’s sanity with a voice full of temptation.

This is wrong…

Even though her heart had refused countless times.

Why did she still do it… Wasn’t this just the same as ■■?

In a silent place, the boy’s Jacket covered the upper half of the girl’s body.

“Yezhe…”

Her entire body felt limp as she sat on the chair.

***

“I remember taking a shower, so why is there a… smell?”

At night, when the boy returned Home, he picked up that Jacket. Just as he was putting it on, a youthful scent he had never smelled before drifted into his nose.

He was a bit puzzled.

When did the cuff of his Jacket get stained with a drink?

And after that incident…

The girl’s desire was like a vehicle flooring the gas pedal while going downhill; it couldn’t be stopped at all…

But whether it was the Quality Education she had received since childhood, the Core Values transmitted by society, or even her Mother’s past teachings, everything denied her nearly pathological love for Yezhe.

***

“If you like this flavor, then it’s fine. Stop looking so gloomy and hurry up and try some.”

She knew this was wrong… she knew, she knew everything.

But if she lost this love, what would she rely on to live?

What would she live for?

How was her ugly, parasite-like self supposed to live?

More than once, she wanted to tear off the mask on her face, but she was also afraid that if everything were exposed, the boy would leave her…

It wasn’t that she hadn’t considered extreme methods…

But that wouldn’t work.

Firstly, she didn’t have enough money or energy.

Secondly… she didn’t want to see the boy suffer.

She couldn’t bring herself to destroy the boy just for her own selfish desires…

But… if one day, the boy was taken away by someone else…

What would she become then?

She would surely look hideously ugly…

“Mhm…”

Yudong responded softly, carrying the box and sitting at the dining table.

“Actually, I originally wanted to buy it in person… would this count as a surprise?”

“Thank you…”

“Why are you thanking me? I owed you this anyway, I should be apologizing to you.”

“Thank… you…”

“Wait, are you crying!?”

“Hold me… okay?”

“…Okay.”

The girl smiled and opened her arms, tears welling in her eyes and slowly falling down her well-defined cheeks.

Seeing this, Yezhe stood up and took the trembling girl into his arms.

“It’s okay, it’s not like I won’t buy it for you again in the future…”

Lowering his refreshing voice, the boy’s hand gently brushed the top of the girl’s head like a spring breeze.

“Alright, stop crying. If you cry any more, the Egg Cake will dry out.”

“It’s good to have you.”

The girl buried herself in his chest, her voice muffled and carrying a slight sob.

“It’s nothing, as long as you’re happy.”

“Alright, alright, let’s open the Egg Cake.”

The boy gently patted Yudong’s shoulder, signaling for her to get up.

“I specifically bought a large one because I was afraid you wouldn’t have enough… and of course, to leave some for Liuyin as well.”

“Thank… who?”

When those two syllables popped out, the fingertips Yudong was using to wipe her tears stopped abruptly.

The happiness that had just been radiating from her face vanished in an instant, like a snowflake hitting a flame, evaporating without leaving even a drop of water behind.

Her lips slowly pulled into a cold, hard line.

The clarity in her eyes faded, replaced by an icy void devoid of any emotion.

Even the aura around her became heavy, a sense of bloodlust spreading like a tide.

“Liuyin… she probably hasn’t eaten something this good before.”

Yezhe’s gaze remained fixed on the Egg Cake on the table. He didn’t even notice that the girl’s tone of voice had changed.

“Though normally, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to buy this…”

As a sigh escaped him, a doting expression surfaced, lingering on the Chocolate piece on top of the cake…

‘Wishing Auntie a speedy recovery.’

***

To be honest, just by looking at it, Yezhe knew how tempting this expensive Egg Cake was.

The fluffy sponge cake base was divided into three layers by smooth light cream, with each layer filled with some chopped mango and strawberry bits.

The bright colors of the fruit were embedded in the milky white cream; just looking at it was enough to make one’s appetite soar.

The top layer was piled even higher, with fresh strawberries cut in half next to several blueberries.

Diced yellow peaches were scattered around, with red, blue, and yellow interwoven to look bright and beautiful…

This kind of exquisite cake that would usually only be seen in a display counter was currently sitting on the table…

If it weren’t for Yudong and Liuyin, it would have been impossible for Yezhe to buy it.

He had never been very fond of sweet things, and besides, how could he enjoy such a luxury himself?

“As long as you guys are happy, that’s all that matters.”

“…Mhm.”

After Yudong gave a soft response, she slowly untied the pink ribbon tied around the box. Then, she lifted the lid of the plastic box and removed the plastic film, completely exposing the tempting Egg Cake to the air.

Except, at this moment, Yudong had long since lost any desire to taste it…

That wasn’t her thing. That wasn’t an Egg Cake that belonged to her alone…

Liuyin, why…

Why do you have to take a share of his love?