Chapter 16: I Once Believed in You

Green’s past experiences with women were almost always a journey from one pain to another.

Only Dolores stayed by his side until the very last moment.

Dolores was the first woman he met, but Hilberu was not the second.

In his previous life, just marrying Dolores had taken him four years, and by the time they reached the border of the Holy Nation, five years had already passed.

At that time, the Holy Nation’s borders were still mired in war against the Abyss. Even with Green and Dolores having stepped into the Transcendent realm, nothing could be changed.

Those soldiers of unwavering faith never doubted the Church and the Saintess. They believed that the Saintess in the Holy City was striving for the same ideals as they were.

Green knew that the gods had granted the Saintess the power to completely purge the Abyss, which would greatly reduce needless sacrifices.

He heard mortally wounded soldiers on their deathbeds murmuring the Saintess’s name.

The Saintess had taken the power bestowed by the gods to resist the Abyss, yet failed to fulfill her corresponding responsibilities.

What was she doing?

With such doubts, Green saw Hilberu for the first time in the Holy City of the Holy Nation.

She pleaded for his help with such idealistic fervor, reaching out her hand to Green.

It was as if she were inviting him to fight together for a noble ideal.

This was Hilberu’s mission as the [Saintess]. She said she had to live up to those sufferers Green had seen, who longed for her appearance.

At the cost of being wanted by the Church, Green took Hilberu away, and together with her and Dolores, walked along the border of the Abyss.

Green had nearly given up more times than Hilberu, but she and Dolores both encouraged him to grit his teeth and press on.

“Whenever I think that my own negligence has caused someone to pay with their life to make up for my mistakes, I can’t eat or sleep… The road ahead is dangerous, but if I stop halfway, I won’t be able to face those who have sacrificed themselves.”

“I can’t disappoint everyone’s expectations of me any longer.”

Hilberu spoke such words, and Dolores always encouraged her as well.

“My dear, we’re doing something that everyone will be grateful for, you know! Let’s do our best together~!”

In the end, the three of them did everything within their power, giving their all within their limits.

Dolores, injured, returned early, and Hilberu pushed him into the Abyss.

“Will you not wake up again? My dear…”

At that time, Green lay at the very bottom of a rift deep within the Abyss.

Seeing that he hadn’t returned, Dolores, still injured, went back to rescue him, carrying him out of the Abyss on her back.

“My dear, you can hear my voice, can’t you…? Can you talk to me?”

“We’re on our way back now. It’s not far. On the Map, it’s only about ten centimeters from here to the Fortress—very close if we walk straight… If we keep talking, we’ll reach our destination before we know it.”

“Don’t close your eyes, and don’t fall asleep. If I can’t hear you breathing, I’ll get really mad. I’m talking to you, you idiot…”

After he was successfully rescued, Dolores rested for half a month.

Hilberu, on the other hand, returned to the Holy Nation. They met several times afterwards, but the answers Hilberu gave were always disappointing.

He had once suspected that Hilberu might have been manipulated or controlled, but Hilberu had bathed in the Sacred Spring, which was said to cleanse the soul, right before his eyes.

All she did was wonder why Green hadn’t died.

After that farewell, Hilberu regarded him as an enemy and shut herself away in the Holy City.

Then, the next year, Hilberu died in a rural church in the Kingdom of Rand.

Green never got his answer.

But that was all from Green’s point of view. Facing Hilberu’s betrayal was already painful enough.

If Dolores had once known Hilberu, or even been close friends, then what kind of feelings would she have if she saw her former friend commit such a terrible act?

If they truly knew each other, and yet Dolores never mentioned it, was it because she was worried about him?

But what about Dolores herself?

Green didn’t dare to keep thinking down this path.

The more he thought, the more he seemed to find reasons to defend Dolores.

It was as if his own heart wanted to tell him, “Even if she betrayed you in the end, she truly treated you with sincerity all along.”

Dolores had scolded him for this countless times; that was one of the rare things that would actually make her angry with him.

She had scolded Green for crying like a child, only to come seeking comfort and a hug from her in the end.

Yet she would still hold him and offer comfort.

“I just don’t get why those women are like this. In my eyes, you’re the most charming child—no, my husband!”

“They don’t understand your worth. They’re all just a bunch of scoundrels who only care about immediate gain. You can’t keep lingering over them.”

“They’ve all betrayed you. Are you still attached to those little bits of genuine kindness they once showed you? Then what does all the pain you’ve suffered count for…!”

On a certain rainy night in his previous life, Dolores had let him rest his head on her lap, voicing her grievances for him, word by word.

Compared to Green, her figure may have seemed small and delicate.

But she gave Green, at that time, irreplaceable support and reliance.

“……”

It seemed that whenever he thought of the past, Green couldn’t help but recall Dolores.

But, didn’t that just make him pitiful?

The Dolores of the past always lived in his memories.

The Dolores of the present now sat in front of him.

They had exactly the same face, yet seemed like two entirely different individuals. But in Green’s eyes, they were both “Dolores.”

He couldn’t distinguish between “the Dolores of the previous life” and “the Dolores of this life.”

But when he saw Dolores’s face, he would always, uncontrollably, recall the past.

Green wished that Dolores would always be just as she was in his memories.

Still by his side, still possessing that gentle warmth he yearned for.

Was that just a vain hope?

Or maybe… not…

[Dolores]

[Affection: 50 (Familiar)]

Sitting across from him, Dolores glanced at her Affection, then waited for Green to recover his composure.

She had already anticipated that mentioning Hilberu would provoke him, but what she really worried about was that Green would look up at her with hatred in his eyes.

Dolores couldn’t imagine how many of her own ideas that scheming little fish had stuffed into the revenge logic for the protagonist, for the “hatred” that would propel the main plotline to keep festering inside him.

But surely every heroine had done something unforgivable to Green.

She really ought to let that scoundrel experience the hatred of the villainous protagonist she created for herself—preferably as a woman; if it were a man, he’d probably just get cut down.

“Are you spacing out?”

Dolores reminded him, and as Green finished composing himself and looked up, a chill crept down Dolores’s spine the moment their eyes met.

Green’s gaze didn’t seem to be filled with hatred.

Rather, it was complicated, a bit ambiguous, even affectionate.

It was as if he was looking at someone else through her.

“I was just a little surprised that Her Highness the Princess would be friends with a Novice Nun.”

In truth, there was nothing left to hesitate about.

The [Demon] had told him long ago that he could make Dolores fall completely in love with him.

If so, turning Dolores into the same person as in his memories wasn’t impossible.

After all—

Dolores had once advised him never to forgive a child who did wrong, to let them receive the punishment they deserved.

In the end, hadn’t Dolores also done wrong?

So she could not escape punishment either.