After saying that, Xiao Lan crossed her arms with a bit of a tsundere attitude, her face brimming with pride, as if to say, “Well? You didn’t see that coming, did you? (ᐢᴖ ·̫ ᴖᐢ)”
Faced with this, Liyami could only feel speechless.
Wait, didn’t you just say you didn’t want to tell me? Why are you suddenly just blurting it out now???
But seeing the look of pride on her face, Liyami more or less guessed why she had revealed it—she had simply forgotten about it!
Now, Liyami seriously wondered if she should just leave right now. She really didn’t want to be tormented by this girl any longer.
But after thinking it over for a bit, Liyami gave up on that idea. Even though her goal had already been achieved—she had confirmed just now that Lant didn’t like Laura, nor did she have any interest in people of the same gender—so technically, she could leave now.
However, Liyami found herself even more curious about something else. That was, about Lant liking Ryan—was that really okay? Wasn’t Lant also male before?
Liyami had originally intended to slowly probe Lant, as she had just done, until the other revealed her true thoughts. But after taking another look at Lant, she abandoned that plan. She didn’t want to suffer through that kind of torment again.
So, Liyami decided not to waste any more words and asked the question directly.
“You said you like Ryan—is that really true?”
“Of course it’s true. Why would I lie to you?”
“But… is that really okay? I mean, you used to be…”
Liyami trailed off, but her meaning was obvious, and even Xiao Lan understood.
After hesitating for a while, Xiao Lan finally spoke her true feelings.
“Honestly, at first… I did have thoughts like that. I wondered, since we used to be the same gender, wouldn’t having such feelings be… not quite right?”
“But, well, that was before, wasn’t it? Now I’m a bona fide woman! So liking men is completely normal for me, isn’t it?”
“Besides, shouldn’t love be about not caring for gender at all? That’s what true love is! And anyway, I can’t turn back now. If I just keep living like this, isn’t it pretty nice?”
After finishing, Xiao Lan looked at Liyami with excitement, hoping for her opinion, but saw that the other was hesitating to speak.
“Uh, well, how should I put it… Actually, you can turn back.”
“Huh? What are you talking about???”
Liyami briefly explained the matter of the ‘Yiqiu’ Labyrinth to Xiao Lan, and as she spoke, Xiao Lan’s expression grew increasingly blank, until she finally muttered a dazed, “Huh?”
“So, yeah, I forgot to tell you—there’s already a way to turn back. Since that’s the case, do you want to…”
At that, Liyami stopped. Not because she felt there was no need to say more, but because Xiao Lan reached out to stop her from continuing.
“…No need to say more. I get it. But turning back or whatever, there’s no need for that. I think being like this is pretty good—at least it’s way better than that sloppy old man I used to be. I much prefer living with this face and this body, so don’t bring up turning back ever again.”
There was not a hint of falsehood in Xiao Lan’s words; it was all her sincere feeling. This kind of honest spirit even affected Liyami, making her wonder if maybe it really would be better to just go on living as a woman.
“Lant, is that really what you think…”
When Liyami said that, she realized her own voice was trembling a little. She didn’t know if she was afraid, or… excited?
Lant’s words reminded Liyami of last night, of a few days ago in that demon-shaped Mazoku laboratory, and even more, of that midnight in the mansion over half a month ago.
From this moment on, Liyami began to reconsider that question again. Should she live like this, or keep searching for a way to return to her old body?
Actually, Liyami had long had an answer to that question. She didn’t want to turn back; she wanted to live as she was now. But could reality really allow such thoughts?
Colin, Eleanor, Sifni, Lavinia… and all the other people Liyami knew—could they accept her like this?
After all, it was her former self that everyone recognized. If she really decided not to turn back, but to live forever in this appearance, would they still stay by her side as before?
Liyami didn’t know. No, to be precise, she didn’t want to know. She could already imagine what would happen if she did that—maybe some people really couldn’t accept it. But Colin and the others, they would surely accept her.
But what if, just what if even they… That was what Liyami was truly afraid of. Because of that worry, of that faint, almost impossible ‘what if,’ she couldn’t bring herself to make up her mind and choose decisively.
And now, with someone else making the choice that Liyami wanted to make, she couldn’t help but feel surprised. Was she not afraid? Not afraid of the consequences of such a change? Not afraid… of what to do if others couldn’t accept it?
Looking at Lant, who usually seemed so unreliable but now appeared strangely dependable, Liyami couldn’t help voicing the question in her heart.
“Aren’t you afraid? I mean, doing this could change everything. Even if—even if the person you like, Ryan, can’t accept it, what would you do then? Where does your courage come from?”
Although Liyami was asking Lant, in truth, she was asking herself. So afraid of the consequences of change, yet unable to choose, clinging to the present. If she was so afraid, she could just choose to turn back. Yet she was still hesitating, as if she just wanted an excuse to keep things as they were.
Facing Liyami’s question, Xiao Lan smiled gently, without the slightest hint of doubt.
“First of all, I hope you’ll call me Xiao Lan—that’s my name now. Secondly, about what you said—fear, courage, whatever—I honestly don’t understand any of it. I just know, if I didn’t do this, I’d definitely regret it.”
Regret? That’s right—Lant… no, Xiao Lan was absolutely right. If she didn’t do this, she’d definitely regret it too.
Liyami felt she understood something from Xiao Lan’s words. And Xiao Lan didn’t stop there, but continued on.
“As for what to do if Ryan can’t accept it… Hm, to tell the truth, I really don’t know. But in the end, the one making the choice is me, not him. I can’t let his opinion change who I am—this is an important choice that’s mine alone!”
“And also,” Xiao Lan smiled even more brightly, as if recalling something wonderful, “I believe in him. If it’s him, he won’t deny my choice. If I didn’t even have that much courage, I wouldn’t be able to stay by his side at all.”
Xiao Lan’s words lingered deep in Liyami’s heart, refusing to fade away.
Premium Chapter
Login to buy access to this Chapter.