Gu Yebai stood frozen in place, his arm linked with hers as if bound by a chain.
“At least give me a reason! We could have chatted over coffee and gotten to know each other better!”
Bai Xialin’s voice held a note of urgency, her eyes shining like summer sunlight.
“Why won’t you come downstairs for a coffee with me?”
Gu Yebai’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
His gaze fell on her clear, bright eyes, suddenly finding them painfully dazzling.
“You can always write your novel when you get back!”
She pressed on, a hint of grievance mixing into her tone.
“I’m not going to eat you~ It’s just a cup of coffee! If you think coffee is bitter, we can have milk tea, or go for ice cream! That’s totally fine! I’ve burned enough calories anyway!”
Gu Yebai remained silent.
It really wasn’t because of Bai Xialin.
‘Ah…’
An absurd yet utterly real thought surfaced in his mind: how much better it would be if Bai Xialin were a boy.
If she were a boy, there would be no reason for Gao Hongyi to feel jealous.
Just like Yukino, that young master studying abroad in Tokyo, with whom Gu Yebai could talk about anything.
Because he was straight, chatting with a friend of the same sex wouldn’t breed ambiguity, and it would put Gao Hongyi completely at ease.
“Little Gu… are you angry?”
Bai Xialin’s eyes flickered.
She lightly bit her lower lip, her eyes slightly moist as if she were about to cry.
“I’m…”
“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot, I’ll just go.”
“No, that’s not it!”
Gu Yebai finally spoke, his voice low, as if squeezed from the deepest part of his chest.
He lifted his head, looking directly at this enthusiastic, bright, sporty girl who was nothing like Gao Hongyi.
“I mean, hypothetically.”
“Hypothetically, if you had a boyfriend you loved very much, and you couldn’t watch him every single moment, what would you do?”
Bai Xialin froze, as if she hadn’t expected him to suddenly ask such a heavy question.
“Hypothetically, if you lived with your boyfriend, and you had to go out for work or school, would you forbid him from leaving the house?”
“Would you be heartbroken and exhausted from not being able to see him?”
“Would you demand that he report everything he does, no matter what, immediately?”
“Would you, after sending a message, require him to reply within one minute?”
By the time the last question fell, Gu Yebai’s throat felt tight, as if strangled by an invisible red thread. He himself found it absurd.
He had never said these words to anyone.
Not even to Gao Hongyi herself.
He had only silently endured, never daring to question.
But now, facing a girl from Seoul he had only known for a few days, he was voicing the deepest, most painful doubts buried in his heart, word by word.
Bai Xialin’s eyes widened.
First in surprise, then confusion, and then… something akin to pity.
She took a soft breath, as if trying hard to organize her words.
“Since he’s someone I love…”
Her voice became very gentle.
“How could I possibly treat him like a prisoner?”
That sentence hit Gu Yebai’s chest like a sledgehammer.
It really struck a nerve.
He didn’t speak immediately, just looked down at his own hands.
His fingertips were trembling slightly.
Bai Xialin cautiously took a step forward, her voice softening further.
“Little Gu… you asking these things, is it…”
“No, it’s nothing…”
Gu Yebai’s voice was hoarse.
“It’s just that having coffee means going out.”
“Going out is still somewhat inconvenient.”
“You’re oil!”
Bai Xialin suddenly blurted out.
“Freedom.”
Gu Yebai corrected.
Bai Xialin paused for a moment, then quickly amended herself.
“Freedom! Right, freedom! Little Gu’s freedom is for Little Gu to fight for himself! It’s just a cup of coffee, why make it such a big deal?”
“Don’t be controlled anymore, Little Gu, I understand why you don’t want to go out with me now, I understand everything! But, precisely because of that, you have to go out! Come on, come on, go for it! (I believe you can do it)!”
“I…”
“If you’re not willing to go out for coffee with me right now, you’ll only sink deeper and deeper in the future!”
“Little Gu, do you know the story of the little elephant?”
Bai Xialin’s voice suddenly lowered, as if telling an ancient fable.
“When the elephant was very small, the trainer used a thick iron chain to tie one of its feet to a sturdy wooden stake. The little elephant struggled and pulled with all its might, but it was too weak and could never break free.”
“As time passed, it failed again and again, exhausted itself again and again. Finally, it believed that this chain, this stake, was something it could never escape.”
“Later, the little elephant grew into a big elephant.”
“It possessed the strength of a thousand pounds, easily capable of uprooting the stake or even snapping the chain, but it never tried again.”
“Because it had grown accustomed.”
“Its heart had already surrendered.”
“It believed, on its own, that it could never break free.”
“Little Gu, when was your chain… fastened?”
“Are you going to keep pretending that it can really hold you?”
Gu Yebai’s breath hitched, his fingers unconsciously curling tight.
Bai Xialin took half a step forward, her voice suddenly brightening, like sunlight piercing through clouds.
“You can do it!”
“The detective you write about, facing all injustice, steps forward again and again, never bowing his head even when covered in wounds. Actually… you are that detective, aren’t you?”
“You share the same past, the same stubbornness, the same refusal to admit defeat.”
“You write books, putting the person you most want to become into your stories.”
“So, Little Gu, stop locking yourself in a cage.”
She suddenly reached out and tightly grabbed Gu Yebai’s wrist.
Her palm was warm, carrying the faint sweat from her workout, yet unexpectedly strong, like a lifeline refusing to let go.
“Come on, Little Gu. I’ll grow up with you!”
“Even if… it takes a little bit of force, I will definitely help you.”
“Because I would never abandon a friend!”
As soon as the words fell, she gave a strong pull.
Caught off guard, Gu Yebai was yanked forward, staggering a step and nearly crashing into her embrace.
‘Ah…’
Since coming to Donghai, he had only left the house once.
That trip to the Ferris Wheel.
All the other time, he had been bound at home by invisible red threads, unable to take a single step.
Maybe… it was time for one small, secret indulgence.
He always stood before the balcony, gazing at the night view of the Bund, watching the lights of cruise ships glide across the river, watching the crowds flowing beneath the skyscrapers, as if looking at another world.
He wanted to walk on his own two feet, to breathe freely under the gentle sunlight, to no longer feel his heart pound with terror at the arrival of every message from Gao Hongyi, like a prisoner awaiting judgment.
If, it really were possible…
“Alright.”
“Let’s go for coffee.”
Bai Xialin’s eyes instantly lit up, as if two small lamps had been switched on.
“Great! Let’s go right now!”
“Charge~! go for it! (Cheer up)!”
She excitedly jumped once, her ponytail swinging in a cheerful arc.
Gu Yebai looked down at his own crumpled loungewear and suddenly felt awkward.
“Wait for me a moment, I’ll change before we go out.”
“Go ahead and change~”
“What I mean is…” Gu Yebai hung his head, his voice so low it was almost inaudible, “…you wait in the living room first.
With you in my room, me changing clothes… isn’t very convenient.”
Bai Xialin was stunned for half a second, then let out a pfft laugh, covering her mouth, her shoulders shaking.
“Alright, alright~ I get it, I get it! Little Gu is shy!”
She let go, obediently retreating to the living room, turning her back, and even deliberately raising her hands to the sides of her eyes as if playing a “cover your eyes” game.
“Hurry, hurry! I absolutely won’t peek~”