A Note at the Beginning: This other world does not have traditional magic, fighting spirit, elves, or magical beasts.
The nobility system is also not a direct copy of the Western peerage system.
The content is purely a product of my own whims and flights of fancy.
In short, I hope you all won’t take it too seriously and just enjoy the ride.
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Alicia never imagined that, not even a few hours after transmigrating, she would be about to die again.
Just before, she had been an ambitious young man who had just stepped into the workforce, full of hope for the future—a bachelor who had been a virgin for over twenty years and would likely remain one for the foreseeable future.
Then, while going downstairs to buy some fried rice, she got taken out by a dump truck.
When she first woke up, she found herself locked in some kind of prisoner cart, tied up tight as a drum, with a foul-smelling rag stuffed in her mouth.
Her body also felt strange.
There were two soft, wobbly “new accessories” on her chest that would probably bounce when she walked, and the sensation between her legs was different too.
She didn’t need to look to guess that her little brother, who had never once fulfilled his intended purpose, had been confiscated.
To make matters worse, the original owner of this body had left almost no memory fragments behind.
She couldn’t even understand the gibberish language the guards around her were speaking.
The only information she could grasp was that her name was now “Alicia.”
Under the combined assault of physical agony, mental shock, and overwhelming exhaustion, she ultimately couldn’t hold on and slipped into a dazed unconsciousness.
How much time passed, she didn’t know.
A rough dragging woke her up.
Someone grabbed her arm and practically hauled her out of the prisoner cart like a bag of trash, shoving her rudely up a few steps.
Then, an incredibly coarse sensation suddenly slipped around her neck, choking her almost to the point of suffocation.
Alicia forced open her heavy eyelids, twisting her neck painfully to look around.
Well, well, well.
She was indeed standing on a raised wooden platform.
The floor beneath her feet was clearly a trap door.
As for the burly man standing beside her, hand on the lever… yeah, this was a gallows, and the fatal noose was already around her neck.
Surrounding the platform below was a circle of warm, honest-looking uncles and aunties.
Not only did they look distinctly non-Asian, but their clothes were also not very modern.
It was over!
Totally screwed!
The sky was falling!
She had just transmigrated, not only turned into a girl, but was about to fast-forward through her entire life straight to being a corpse!
Alicia stared speechlessly at the guy below who was jabbering something to the crowd.
That guy was wearing a shabby robe that looked vaguely like a priest’s cassock.
Not only had he shaved his head into a ridiculous watermelon-style bowl cut, but the crown of his scalp was completely bald, making him look just like a kappa.
But this Mr. Bowl Cut kept yammering on in the language of this other world, and she couldn’t understand a word!
Wasn’t Chinese or Japanese supposed to be the universal language of other worlds? Couldn’t the original owner have at least left her some language basics?
If she could understand him, if she could communicate, then at least—before turning into a “sunshine doll” (a hanged corpse)—she could ask what was going on, what she had done wrong to end up on the gallows.
Just as Alicia was thinking this in utter despair, she was astonished, even horrified, to discover that the obscure language, which had been meaningless like a rewinding tape, suddenly became crystal clear.
It was as if someone had silently fitted her with a real-time translation earpiece.
The meaning of every single word flooded into her mind.
She… could understand!
Oh no!
Had she just used up her chance for a cheat ability?
The old man with the kappa head below was still indignantly addressing the clueless onlookers.
“Look! This jet-black hair, like the abyss, and these ominous red eyes—they are the very symbols of a demon! She is without a doubt the demon’s spokesperson! A witch! The source of plagues and calamities!”
Oh, so this body had black hair and red eyes.
Huh, kind of cute.
But she was about to be cute and dead.
The crowd below immediately erupted into an even more intense commotion of murmuring and whispers.
The elderly wore stern, rigid expressions, their gazes toward her sharp as knives, as if trying to gouge holes in her.
Meanwhile, those who were dressed more neatly and looked younger mostly seemed disinterested, exchanging the numbed excitement of watching a spectacle, as if this were just a slightly thrilling sideshow in their boring daily lives, after which they would return to their repetitive, dull existence.
But Alicia, standing on the gallows, could only clearly hear the sound of her own heart pounding like a frantic drum in her chest.
It was over.
She was really going to die here today.
She’d heard that hanging was a painful way to go…
And if she died, who knew if she could respawn?
She never imagined she’d have to die twice in such a short time.
“However, the God is still merciful and just. Anyone is allowed a final confession, even a witch.”
The old man with the kappa head—perhaps because he was old and had gotten too worked up from his speech—climbed onto the gallows with a flushed face.
Standing on the other side of the executioner, he asked her loudly and solemnly in a slightly trembling, gravelly voice.
“Sinner Alicia, source of calamity, incarnation of disaster! In the name of God, do you… have anything left to say?”
You old goat!
That tone of yours isn’t even asking me!
And if you don’t take this rag out of my mouth, how am I supposed to say anything?
Alicia glared at the old priest with anxious rage.
No matter what she wanted to say, with the rag stuffed in her mouth, she could only make “mmph mmph” sounds.
Seeing her “struggling,” the old kappa-headed man showed a mix of pity and disgust on his face.
He turned to the audience and shook his head mournfully.
“It seems the demon’s spokesperson refuses even a final confession.”
How could this be?
Was she not even going to get a chance to defend herself?
Just because of her hair and eyes, such ridiculous reasons, she was going to be hanged here?
Just then, a clear, even slightly lazy, teasing voice cut through the crowd’s minor disturbances.
“If you don’t take the rag out of her mouth, how is she supposed to talk?”
This powerful questioning was like music from heaven!
Alicia almost cried with gratitude.
She struggled desperately, craning her neck to look in the direction of the voice, desperately wanting to see who had tossed her this lifeline in this desperate, doomed situation.
The person who arrived on horseback was indeed a handsome man that anyone would praise at first sight.
His face had sharp, distinct lines, handsome with a hint of unrefined youthfulness.
If stuffed into a popular otome game, he would definitely be a character that would trigger a rush of courtship strategies.
But looking closer, this “handsome man” was actually not that old.
He was clearly in the transitional stage from boy to young man, probably around sixteen to eighteen.
The most eye-catching thing was his brown hair, combed into an extremely bizarre and rebellious style—almost all of it was brushed to the right, leaving his left ear and sideburn completely exposed, while the ends on the right fell casually to his neck, giving an air of nonchalant freedom.
What a free-spirited, undisciplined rogue!
His outfit was even more unconventional.
It looked like he had casually thrown a half-worn leather cuirass over a normal dark everyday tunic, but the thing was, the kid couldn’t even bother to wear it properly.
He had pulled his right arm completely out of its sleeve, letting the empty sleeve dangle at his side, revealing a solid, muscular forearm.
His belt was cluttered with all sorts of things: besides a sheathed long sword slung across his back, there was a water canteen, a cloth bag, and even… a frying pan?
This was totally a rebellious teenager in bizarre costumes!
The young man dismounted, casually tossed the reins to the guard behind him, and the onlookers immediately parted to make way, kneeling on one knee.
“Also, if I remember correctly, the agreement between the Empire and the Church clearly states that any religious trial requires the local lord or a designated representative of the lord to be present, and the lord and his representative have the right to question and suspend the trial.”
As he advanced step by step, the old priest was clearly terrified, trembling like he had Parkinson’s.
Finally, the rogue strolled up onto the gallows, waved his hand, and the towering executioner fled as if his life depended on it.
“Lord Maximilian…”
The old priest’s face turned a shade of green and white, stammering, trying to defend himself.
But the young man rudely, or rather, completely unconcernedly, cut him off.
“And I, the eldest son and heir of House Maximilian, Lion von Maximilian, barring any accidents, am and will be the lord of Blaine City and the surrounding towns and villages! You organized a religious trial without informing me—that’s not very proper behavior!”
Well done!
Invincible Lord Max…what’s-his-name!
Shut that old priest up!
And then, while you’re at it… please, for the love of God, get me down from here! Alicia prayed with fervent hope in her heart.
The rebellious young nobleman with the unconventional hairstyle and clothes did not disappoint her expectations.
A barrage of sharp words left the old priest speechless and defeated.
Having dealt with the old priest, he waved his hand and told the curious crowd to scram and go about their business.
Then, leisurely, he strolled over to Alicia, reached out, and rather rudely yanked the rag out of her mouth.
“Cough! Pfft…”
Thank God!
Even though his rough action nearly pulled out her molars, the feeling of fresh air rushing into her lungs after so long made her almost cry.
At least she could breathe deeply and talk!
But don’t stop there! Untie the rope around my neck and the rest of me too!
But Lion chose that very moment to stop.
Instead of untying her, he seemed intrigued.
He reached out, pinched her chin with his fingertips in a flirtatious manner, forcing her head up, and sized her up with a condescending look, as if appraising a piece of goods.
Then he spat out a line that made Alicia’s brain instantly short-circuit.
“Hmm, you have some looks. Be my wife.”
All achievements of human civilization are essentially products of the primitive sexual instinct transformed through the psychological mechanism of ‘sublimation.’
The deep psychological energy that drives individual struggle and civilizational progress is rooted in the most basic biological drives.
— Sigmund Freud
Freud died of oral cancer.
What the hell?!
Alicia’s eyebrow twitched, the corner of her mouth spasmed, and she stared at him like he was an idiot.
Dude, if your brain is broken, go see a doctor.
Sure, you’re really handsome, but a pick-up line like that…
I wish you a lifetime of singleness.
When lonely and needy late at night, go look in the mirror and jerk off.
Maybe because Alicia was too shocked to reply, Lion immediately put on a disgusted expression.
“What, she’s a mute?”
…Take a deep breath.
I need to take a deep breath.
I’m a rational person, and now that I’m a girl, I need to be elegant and gentle…
Alicia tried to adjust her mindset.
Going through the dramatic ups and downs of life and death in such a short time had indeed made her a bit tense and irritable.
She used to be a calm, peace-loving otaku.
“I must decline that offer, but if there’s any other task you require, I am at your service.”
Save a life, see it through to the end.
Well, being your wife is out of the question, but boss, are you still hiring?
I need a meal ticket!
Wait, could he even understand her if she talked like that?
Alicia looked nervously at this avant-garde youth in front of her.
“Oh? Then what can you do?”
Lion raised an eyebrow, immediately putting on a skeptical expression, leaning back and looking Alicia up and down—her slender arms and legs.
“You don’t look like you’re skilled in martial arts.”
Oh no.
I studied computer science!
In this godforsaken place, they don’t even have a calculator, let alone a computer!
But, rumor had it that the illiteracy rate in this kind of cold-weapon era was very high.
This translation cheat ability of hers should come in handy!
So, grasping at straws, she said, “I… I can read. Is that good enough?”
Lion waved his hand casually.
“Fine. Then you can be my personal attendant. Keep me company, chat with me to pass the time, and write up documents for me.”
It actually worked!? Alicia’s eyes lit up, and she immediately blurted out her most pressing concern.
“So, what’s the salary?”
Lion immediately put on an expression that clearly said, I saved your life and you’re asking for a salary? Then he drew the sword from his waist.
What, I’m going to get killed for asking about a salary?
You heartless boss!
You other-worldly exploit-the-workers tyrant!
In my next life, I’ll…
Alicia instinctively closed her eyes, but the expected pain never came.
Instead, there was a light swish sound, and the noose around her neck snapped.
Without its support, her legs gave way, and with a thump, she fell hard onto the wooden planks.
This guy… he definitely did that on purpose!
Lion stroked the smooth blade with satisfaction, then leisurely looked down at Alicia, who was sprawled on the ground, wincing in pain.
“Monthly pay, let’s say, five Cuini.”