“I want to be an adventurer…” Lenora said weakly.
“Then don’t waste your money on pointless things. Don’t say you understand the cost if you can’t even figure out your own position.”
Roland really couldn’t accept someone being so profligate. She had to count every penny when buying clothes for Mya, afraid of spending even a few extra Crystal Pounds, so her tone inevitably carried the authority of a strict mother.
Lenora was so submissive she didn’t dare make a sound.
“Forget it, let’s sign the contract. The duration is shortened to half a month; we’ll try to conquer the dungeon as early as possible.”
“Oh…”
After signing the contract, Roland told Lenora to prepare supplies for the upcoming trip. She needed to go home to settle things, especially with Mya. If she didn’t comfort her properly, the girl would definitely throw a tantrum.
On the way back, Roland passed a flower shop. She had Grem stop the carriage and went in to buy some cornflower seeds.
The shopkeeper was a middle-aged woman wearing an apron. She handed Roland the cloth bag containing the seeds, with a blue cornflower laid across the top.
“Fate has brought us together. As a gift, I’ll give you another cornflower. I hope your future is full of happiness.”
Picking up the flower, she could faintly smell its delicate fragrance.
“Fate and happiness… Thank you.”
It was definitely too late to plant flowers in the daisy field now. She would have to wait for another opportunity. As for this flower, Roland had a better idea.
***
When she returned home, Mya ran out to greet her as usual. Sebas and Cheryl were also there, though the difference was that there were many new faces behind the two of them.
“Miss Roland, I have hired new servants as per your instructions. After Cheryl’s training, they are already capable of some basic tasks.”
“Well done.” Roland was very satisfied with Sebas’s professional ability.
The manor felt more lively with more people, and Mya would have more friends to keep her company.
“How is the situation at the magic ore mine?”
“The new contracts have all been issued, and the perimeter wall is being built. The manpower issue has been temporarily resolved by posting requests at the Adventurer’s Guild. There has been no movement from the beastmen yet.”
“Strengthen surveillance. Remember to tell me if there is any news. If I’m not here, tell Isaiah.”
“Understood.”
In fact, Roland still had one matter left unaddressed: Baron Isht, who had bribed Vance. However, hindered by his status and her lack of free time, she had to push it back. When the opportunity came, she would definitely retaliate fiercely.
Squatting down, Roland tucked the cornflower from the shopkeeper into the hair over Mya’s forehead. Stroking her head, she said softly, “Mya, Mommy has some news to tell you. Can you wait until you’ve heard it before getting angry?”
Mya was somewhat confused, but looking at Roland’s apologetic expression, she felt that nothing good was about to happen.
“I might need to leave you for a week, at most half a month. During this time, I’ll have to trouble you to stay at home. Nasha will take good care of you, okay?”
Roland felt very uneasy saying these words. Even though her tone was gentle enough, it was no different from pointing at a shroud and saying the person inside was still alive; it couldn’t hide the cruel reality at all.
Sure enough, the light in Mya’s eyes gradually dimmed.
Seeing this, Roland hurriedly explained, “I’m not abandoning you. If I don’t get that journal, I won’t be able to get stronger. If I don’t get stronger, I won’t be able to protect you.”
But Mya wasn’t listening. She picked up her notebook and wrote with her pen: “I want to go with Mommy.”
Roland hesitated for a moment before giving her answer: “No.”
“Why?”
“The place I’m going to is an unconquered dungeon. If you run into danger, I might not be able to protect you in time.”
“Mya can protect herself.”
Even without an answer, Mya could tell from Roland’s expression and eyes that she didn’t trust her at all.
She had clearly learned magic. She had clearly become stronger than before. Why was she still not being recognized? Why did Mommy have to leave her to face everything alone?
Painful memories flooded back into her mind. The ice and snow in her memories seemed to never stop. An unprecedented cold covered Mya’s heart, numbing her perception of the entire world.
In the end… as expected, no one was willing to stay by her side. Everyone wanted to abandon her. All those words and actions were nothing but beautiful lies.
Heartbroken, Mya slammed Roland’s hand away and ran upstairs without looking back. The cornflower on her forehead fell to the ground, and a few teardrops scattered along the way.
In the face of everything happening before them, the butler and the other servants said nothing. They remained silent, like onlookers standing apart from it all.
Finally, only Grem, acting as the knight, spoke: “Miss Roland, go see Mya.”
Picking up the flower from the ground, Roland stared blankly for a while before looking up at Cheryl. “Where did I put the shoes I made?”
“In the storage room.”
When Roland walked up to the second floor carrying the straw shoes she had made with her own hands, she found the bedroom door tightly closed, like a heart that had been locked from the inside.
She went to the door, set the shoes down, and knocked gently. However, there was no response.
It was clear that Mya would not be talking to her anytime soon.
Even so, Roland still didn’t regret it, because she knew she had to do this.
By now, her life was no longer just about herself. Mya’s name, figure, and smile—all the traces associated with her—already filled every corner of her memory, making them impossible to forget.
Perhaps the time she spent with Mya was very short, but in the face of eternal history, wasn’t human life itself just a brief moment?
If she had to find a reason to move forward, Roland could only think of one.
“Mya… I’m grateful to fate for letting me meet you. I know you might not want to hear it, but I still have to say it.”
“I really, really, really love you very much.”
“But I’m also very sorry. I lied to you, deceived you, and made you sad.”
“I’m not a qualified mother. I haven’t been able to give you enough companionship and care. It’s okay if you hate me, get angry at me, or even ignore me from now on.”
“But please, be sure to take good care of yourself. Maybe one day I’ll tell you the truth about everything. For now, at least, I don’t want you to take risks. I only hope you can live the life you want.”
“If you want to go back to the monastery to find your old companions, that’s fine too. But remember to write letters to Mommy to tell me about your life lately, okay?”
No matter what Roland said, Mya remained silent in the room.
She knew she had said all she needed to say. Now, all she could do was move forward without regrets.
“Mya, I have to go. Mommy will miss you.”
Carefully tying the root of the cornflower so it was attached to the straw shoes with its petals facing up and wouldn’t fall off, Roland quietly left the corridor.
***
Inside the room, Mya sat on the floor with her back against the door. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, and she buried her head as she sobbed quietly. It wasn’t until she hadn’t heard Roland’s voice for a long time that she finally looked up.
The sun had already set.
It was very late, so late that there wasn’t a single ray of light in the room.
Because the fireplace wasn’t lit, it was very cold. It was so cold that Mya’s body trembled, making her feel as if she had returned to her days living in the monastery.
She stood up. When her numb limbs slowly recovered, she quietly cracked open the door. She found the dim corridor empty, with only a pair of rough straw shoes placed at the door, with a slightly withered flower tied to them.
Mya remembered asking Roland: “Why is Mommy’s hand injured?”
At that time, Roland had answered: “I was bitten by a sheep.”
So, was this the “sheep” Mommy was talking about?
It was so ugly.
Opening the door, Mya put the shoes on her feet. The thick soles supported her heels, lifting her off the cold floor and giving her a sense of warmth.
This was the first time she had taken the initiative to wear shoes, and the only time she didn’t resist wearing them.
Memories of the wonderful times she had spent after being adopted flooded back into her mind. Roland’s figure was everywhere in those times, as were Nasha, Sebas, Cheryl, Grem… Everyone’s shadows were there; she was actually never alone.
Thinking of the last things Roland said, Mya wiped away her remaining tears, her expression gradually becoming firm.
She had had enough.
Since staying still wouldn’t get her what she wanted, then she would move forward recklessly until she was no longer abandoned.