During the lunch break, Lin Mo and Chen Yu went to the cafeteria together.
While waiting in line, Chen Yu suddenly said, “Have you noticed… Su Ran seems to have changed?”
“Changed how?”
“I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
Chen Yu scratched his head, suddenly hating that he hadn’t studied harder in the past. “It’s like… she’s melted? Before, she was always alone, and her eyes were super cold. It was like a ‘don’t touch me or I’ll turn you into a specimen’ kind of vibe.”
Lin Mo asked back with a hint of amusement, “And now?”
Chen Yu suddenly looked melancholic. “Now… how should I say it? She still feels a bit cold, but it’s more like the aloofness of a school beauty. It’s not just me saying this; everyone in class is talking about it. I reckon you’re about to become the enemy of the entire class, maybe even the whole school.”
Lin Mo smiled nonchalantly and turned his gaze toward the serving windows, pinpointing Su Ran immediately.
Su Ran was carrying her tray and looking for a seat. When she saw Lin Mo, she hesitated for a moment before gathering her courage and walking toward them.
“Can I sit here?” she asked.
“Of course.” Lin Mo had already pulled out the chair next to him.
Su Ran said a soft thank you and sat down. She still sat perfectly straight, but this time she seemed a bit stiff.
Moreover, she started eating immediately after sitting down. Her movements were elegant but carried a hint of fluster, which was somewhat comical.
Chen Yu sat two seats to Su Ran’s right. He leaned over to look at her, then glanced at Lin Mo in the middle, and suddenly burst out laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” Lin Mo asked, unable to stop himself from laughing as well, though he knew exactly why.
Chen Yu shrugged and answered with feigned ignorance, “Nothing. I just think everything is great. Today’s food smells especially good.”
Su Ran’s ears turned red at a visible speed.
Sitting here had already taken all the courage she had; she didn’t dare open her mouth to speak again.
Lin Mo didn’t want to startle her, so he didn’t say anything either. Not wanting her to feel awkward, he picked up some food from his tray and placed it on hers. To avoid people gossiping, he also gave some to Chen Yu, making sure to treat everyone equally.
In fact, the moment Su Ran walked over, people had already begun whispering.
Zhang Wei’s apology had worked, and no one in the class was spreading rumors about Su Ran anymore, but it would take time for the rest of the school to catch up.
After the three of them finished their meal in quiet harmony, Su Ran suddenly said, “Lin Mo, can you accompany me somewhere after school this afternoon?”
“Of course. Where to?”
“The hospital. I have an appointment with a psychologist.”
Both Lin Mo and Chen Yu were stunned.
***
The Municipal Mental Health Center was in the western part of the city, four stops away from the school.
After school, Lin Mo accompanied Su Ran there on the bus.
The bus wasn’t crowded, and the two of them sat in the back row.
“When… when did you make the appointment?” Lin Mo asked, feeling a bit apprehensive.
He and Chen Yu had spent the entire afternoon processing this news, but they still hadn’t quite recovered.
“Saturday night, after my mom left. I made it myself.”
“Why so sudden…”
“Because I want to get better.”
Su Ran answered before Lin Mo could even finish his sentence.
She looked out the window, clutching her backpack tightly. “I know I have a problem. I don’t… I don’t want you to have to constantly accommodate me.”
The bus hit a bump, causing their shoulders to bump together gently.
Lin Mo felt Su Ran stiffen slightly. He quickly shook off his stray thoughts and said softly, “I’m not accommodating you; I’m just understanding you.”
“That’s even worse.”
Su Ran lowered her head, her hair falling from behind her ears to cover her face. “If… if I’m always like this, it’s not fair to you.”
She timidly reached out a hand and lightly pulled at Lin Mo’s clothes, whispering in a tiny voice, “If this continues, you’ll eventually find me tiresome. I want to fix myself, no matter… no matter how long it takes.”
Lin Mo felt as if his heart were being soaked in warm water, turning completely soft.
“All right. I’ll stay with you. I can come with you to every treatment session from now on.”
From an angle Lin Mo couldn’t see, Su Ran’s face had already turned as red as a ripe fruit.
Hearing Lin Mo’s words, her pupils shrank slightly and her breathing became shallow. An inexplicable wave of emotion blurred her vision. ‘It’s so good to have you.’
“Don’t come inside this time. I want to face it alone.”
“Okay.”
The Mental Health Center was a quiet, white building.
Su Ran took a deep breath at the entrance and walked in.
Lin Mo waited outside.
He sat on a bench by a flowerbed, watching the sunset slowly sink.
His phone vibrated. It was a text from Chen Yu:
‘How is it going?’
Even through the screen, Lin Mo could feel Chen Yu’s nervousness.
‘Not finished yet. She’s talking to the doctor alone. I’m waiting outside.’
‘Do you need me to come keep you company? Do you have enough money?’
‘No need. Do I look like I’m short on cash? Also, I should let you know, I’ve made up with my dad.’
‘Holy crap, for real?’
‘For real. Please refer to me as a billionaire heir from now on.’
‘Bullshit! Godfather!! You’re my real father!!’
The wait was long.
Lin Mo watched the figures coming and going.
There were middle-aged people with worried faces, young people with hollow eyes, and parents accompanying their children.
Everyone who came here had their own pain and was seeking relief.
The line between a psychological issue and mental illness was often thin. If treated well, things improved; if not, even a deity couldn’t save them. The frustrating part was that there were currently no specific, targeted cures for these types of disorders.
Simply put, psychotherapy was like being fed chicken soup for the soul; it relied entirely on communication. Of course, there was also behavioral guidance and medical assistance, but those were mostly mood stabilizers that treated the symptoms rather than the root cause.
About one hour later, Su Ran came out.
Her eyes were a bit red, but her expression was calm.
“How was it?” Lin Mo stood up immediately.
Su Ran relaxed the moment she saw him, forcing a somewhat stiff smile. “It was okay. The doctor said I do have an emotional cognitive disorder and obsessive tendencies, but it can be treated.”
“What’s the plan?”
“One consultation per week, combined with behavioral training.”
Su Ran took a small booklet out of her bag. “This is the treatment plan. The doctor says that as long as I stick with it, there will be significant improvement in half a year to a year.”
Lin Mo took the booklet and flipped through it. Inside was a detailed plan.
[How to identify emotions, how to express needs, how to establish healthy interpersonal boundaries…]
To him, these things seemed like common sense, but they might be useful for Su Ran.
Then, he felt a tug on his clothes.
Lin Mo looked up to see Su Ran saying sheepishly, “The doctor also said that my habit of recording everything is actually a substitute for expression. Because I can’t communicate directly, I use data instead. That’s my goal for the treatment… to learn how to speak.”
“You’ll learn.”
Lin Mo returned the booklet to her and smiled with confidence. “And you’ve already started.”
During this period, his relationship with Su Ran had grown much closer, and conversation was no longer an issue.
Su Ran nodded, then took another small notebook out of her bag. “This is for you.”
It was a deep blue notebook, very similar to the one she used to record basketball stats.
“What’s this?” Lin Mo asked curiously.
“My treatment diary.”
After handing over the notebook, Su Ran hid her hands behind her back, looking completely bashful. “The doctor told me to record my daily emotions and progress. I want… I want you to see it. That way, you’ll know I’m trying.”
Lin Mo opened the first page. On it was neat handwriting:
‘October 14, first consultation.’
‘Diagnosis: Emotional cognitive disorder, obsessive tendencies.’
‘Goal: Learn to express myself normally, build healthy relationships.’
‘Today’s progress: Took the initiative to ask Lin Mo to accompany me, shared the treatment details.’
‘Difficulty: Still afraid of being disliked.’
‘Tomorrow’s plan: Try to speak up voluntarily once in class.’
Below that was a line of small text:
‘To Lin Mo: Thank you for waiting for me.’
Compared to her usual records, there wasn’t much in this notebook, yet it was inexplicably more touching.
Lin Mo closed the notebook. “Su Ran, do you know what this is?”
“Hmm?”
Su Ran instantly forgot her shyness. When she looked up at Lin Mo, her eyes were full of confusion.
Lin Mo ran his thumb over the notebook and said sincerely, “This is the best form of expression. It’s more precious than any words or any gift.”
“Huh?”
Su Ran didn’t quite understand, so she was a bit skeptical. “Why?”
“Because…”
Lin Mo was about to say something, but then he rubbed his nose in embarrassment. It took him a moment to remind himself that he had lived two lives; it was shameful to be so bashful in front of a girl!
He met Su Ran’s increasingly uneasy eyes and said solemnly, “Because actual actions are always 10,000 times more precious than verbal promises. This represents your willingness to show me your most vulnerable side. It represents your trust in me.”
Lin Mo gestured with the notebook, as if saying this was her heart.
Su Ran might not be able to express herself, but that didn’t stop her from listening and understanding.
Lin Mo’s words were like a blade that suddenly pierced through her heart, instantly shattering the unease within and striking deep into the core of her emotions.
Her face, pale from anxiety, began to regain its color. Soon, it was as rosy as the evening clouds, making her delicate face look even more beautiful.
She lowered her head in embarrassment, unable to find the words to respond.
After a moment of tension, feeling flustered under Lin Mo’s gaze, she quickly turned and walked away.
This time, the fluster wasn’t due to unease, but the throbbing sensation of her thoughts being seen and accepted.
The sun had completely set, and the streetlights flickered on one by one.
The shadows of the two people stretched long on the ground, intertwining as they walked.
“Lin Mo, can I… hold your hand?”
Su Ran suddenly spoke softly.
Lin Mo felt like he could almost see steam rising from her head.
He didn’t say a word, simply reaching out his hand immediately.
Seeing this, Su Ran also reached out, her hand trembling as it hovered in mid-air, hesitating.
Seeing the caution in her eyes, Lin Mo suddenly grabbed her hand.
“Eek!”
Su Ran stopped in her tracks, her pupils shrinking into tiny dots.
Her hand was cold, yet very soft.
Her fingers curled slightly, and it took a great effort for her to grip his fingers back.
Three seconds, five seconds, ten seconds.
Then, as if suddenly waking up, she hurriedly let go of Lin Mo. By the time she pulled her hand back, her face was as red as a beet.
“Just… just for a second!”
Su Ran turned around and began twirling a strand of hair in front of her chest, her voice rambling. “The doctor… the doctor told me to practice expressing my needs. No, no, not needs. It’s practice, practice…”
She was flustered, suddenly unable to find a good excuse.
Lin Mo looked at her overwhelmed state and couldn’t help but let out a silly laugh.
After a long while, Su Ran calmed down and said softly, “Thank you for not rejecting me.”
Lin Mo acted casual as he said, “I think it’s great. As long as it’s something you need, I don’t think I’ll ever reject you.”
Su Ran pursed her lips and smiled, her eyes curving into little crescents.
That smile, hidden from Lin Mo, looked very warm under the glow of the streetlights.
“Shall we go home?”
“Okay.”
On the bus, the two of them sat side by side again.
Su Ran kept looking out the window after sitting down, but Lin Mo noticed that the corners of her mouth remained curved upward.
Perhaps sensing Lin Mo’s gaze, Su Ran suddenly said, “Lin Mo.”
“Yeah?”
“The treatment fee… I paid for it myself.”
Lin Mo’s brain felt like it had been kicked back into gear. His thoughts snapped back as he realized he didn’t quite understand what Su Ran meant.
“You paid for it yourself?”
“Yes. I used the prize money from my competitions. I saved some money from previous competitions that my mom doesn’t know about.”
Su Ran retracted her gaze and looked at her slightly tight stockings. Her small leather shoes lifted nervously, their tips touching to form an inward-pointing shape.
She felt as if she were about to float away.
If only time could freeze on a night like tonight.
No, no, not tonight.
It should freeze on the night she finally becomes one with him.
Lin Mo thought patiently, trying to understand Su Ran’s current mood.
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
Su Ran paused. “I wanted to make the decision myself. From the start of the treatment to the end, it’s my choice. That way, when I get better, I can tell myself that I did it on my own.”
Lin Mo nodded thoughtfully.
In his past life, Su Ran might have always lived under her mother’s control.
Her life had consisted of nothing but the piano and an endless pursuit of him. But now, she had changed.
According to the current trend, there was a high probability that Su Ran’s condition would be cured, and she would be able to get along better with her mother. Her life was moving toward a bright future.
“You’re amazing.” Lin Mo couldn’t find any other words to say.
Su Ran turned to look at him, her eyes bright. “Really?”
“Really.”
Lin Mo nodded, thinking of how he had only known how to run away in his past life. “You’re braver than anyone I know.”
Su Ran’s face turned red again, but this time she didn’t look down. Instead, she looked at Lin Mo earnestly.
“That’s because you’re here. You make me feel like… being brave is worth it.”
The bus arrived at the stop.
The two got off and walked to the fork in the road.
“See you tomorrow?” Lin Mo said.
“Yes, see you tomorrow.”
Just as Su Ran finished speaking, she remembered something and pulled a small bag out of her backpack. “This is for you… tomorrow’s breakfast. It’s a sandwich I made myself. It might not taste very good.”
Lin Mo took the bag, somewhat surprised, and instinctively replied, “I’ll eat every bit of it.”
Su Ran smiled and performed an incredibly graceful half-turn, walking backward while facing Lin Mo and waving her hand.
Lin Mo regained his senses and said dotingly, “Watch where you’re going.”
Only then did Su Ran turn back to walk properly, but after a couple of steps, she looked back again.
Lin Mo stood in place and waved at her, as if shooing a little piglet.
Su Ran couldn’t help but crinkle her nose at him before running away as if escaping.