Lucia looked at Helena.
“So, all those people related to the former duchy were taken care of in that incident?”
“They were all handled.”
Helena nodded, her fingers unconsciously tracing the rim of the teacup.
“Ian was… quite harsh. Before dealing with those old men who used Bulaien, Ian asked for my help, since I knew everything about the Church. I could clearly feel his resentment at the time… His beloved teacher was forced to death by them. That part I can understand… But I cannot understand Ian’s subsequent actions.”
Helena pursed her lips and finally sighed. Tears glistened at the corners of her eyes, losing composure in front of Lucia.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t suppress the bitterness welling up in her heart. Being seen in a bad light by her daughter made it even harder to control the tears.
“The three hundred people I mentioned are all related to Bulaien. And many of them… have been taking care of me ever since I joined the Church.”
Helena’s voice began to tremble.
“They neither participated in that rebellion nor were they high-ranking officials, but Ian still had them all eliminated. And what I cannot accept most is… even their family members… What on earth was he thinking? How were those people before they died? They were just living their lives as usual. When the war broke out, they were ordinary people forced to leave.”
Lucia nodded.
“So… that’s why there were over five hundred?”
A single clear tear finally gave way, sliding down Helena’s pale, maiden-like cheek.
The tear fell so weakly that it eventually dropped into the bowl of cold, lonely soup, its surface covered with a layer of white congealed fat.
The tear made a tiny pit on the surface of the fat, but couldn’t merge into it, just floating forlornly on the murky soup. Like Helena’s pleas back then, it changed nothing, just hung there silently like a joke.
Helena looked at that tear, a bitter self-mocking smile curling at the corners of her mouth.
“Although I am a member of the Church, from the moment I joined, begging has become the norm. Begging the Moon Goddess for mercy, begging the nobles to give more to the commoners… Always begging, begging, begging… Becoming Saintess changed nothing… I feel like I’m begging everyone I meet, even with the Empress’s authority, people still act arrogantly and pay lip service.”
Helena gave a bitter laugh.
“During that time, I begged Bulaien not to give up his will to live… and begged Ian not to kill ruthlessly. I actually knelt down to beg Bulaien and Ian. Many people were practically half my family. I had known them for decades since I joined the Church, and they had never done anything wrong.”
Helena fell silent for a moment, then coughed. “Really… none at all?”
“If there were… maybe I would feel better, but there isn’t. Even if it were fabricated, but he… indeed kept his promise not to lie to me, but all I got was silence.”
Helena lifted her head. By now she had composed herself. One tear was enough as an Empress’s lapse in public… already too much.
“There were even quite a few children… not even Bulaien’s children, but children of Bulaien’s colleagues… Maybe he truly wanted to uproot everything completely, to prevent something like Bulaien from happening again. But if that’s the case…”
Her voice turned sharp, with a hint of hysteria.
“If he disposed of those Church higher-ups, did other ordinary people have to die just because they were related to Bulaien? Then why not take care of me? Am I not the one who received the most favor from Bulaien? When I became Saintess… he helped me a lot.”
Helena’s chest heaved violently, the thin fabric nearly bursting.
“I kept begging him, begging him. But no matter how much I begged, there were only two answers: silence, and ‘I have no choice.’”
“Beyond that, he tells me nothing! It looks like he knows he’s in the wrong, and he’s hidden this matter deeply. Since he knows he’s in the wrong, why did he do it in the first place? Why did he have to be so ruthless?”
Helena just kept talking in a long string, her tone becoming more and more urgent, as if she wanted to pour out all the grievances accumulated in her heart over the years.
“When I say Bulaien’s colleagues, you might not understand. You might think they were people of similar status, or even middle-level.”
Helena shook her head, silver hair clinging messily to her cheeks.
“Middle-level counting their family members, but that’s still too many! Even… even just a small gatekeeper at a Church branch who often ate with Bulaien, and that gatekeeper’s wife, weren’t spared!”
Helena covered her face with both hands, her voice coming through her fingers.
“I may have been a Saintess… but I don’t think I’m a good person, yet my heart is still made of flesh… What did that farming woman do wrong… And on top of that, she originally had no one to rely on… A gatekeeper watching a small Church, what trouble could he cause? And then involving his child… I think Ian has gone mad.”
After finishing her outburst in one breath, Helena seemed drained of all strength.
With trembling hands, she picked up the teacup and took a small sip.
Then she breathed rapidly through her nose to make up for the lack of oxygen caused by her emotional outburst.
Under the table, her pair of transparent white silk stocking feet, which had been tense the whole time, were now twitching slightly from exhaustion.
The air was deathly still.
Lucia no longer maintained that frivolous posture.
She put on the white high heel that had been dangling from her toes, then uncrossed her legs.
Her legs, wrapped in pure white lace stockings, came together, and her feet stood firmly on the red carpet.
“So… this is the reason why you and the Emperor are at odds?”
“Mm… yes. After all, I joined the Church in my teens, so the Church was half my home, and Bulaien was my godfather and teacher. The people he was familiar with were almost all familiar with me too… And I… just watched those who had always been by my side die… and their families along with them.”
Helena took advantage of this brief time to already tidy up her appearance.
“Those gatekeepers, those nuns, those children… I could call them all by name. And Ian just executed them all. I’m truly grieved… Even for three hundred lives I didn’t know, I would be grieved, let alone people I knew well.”
“If you don’t quite understand, think about the soldiers who often go out with you to deal with magical beasts. Think about the friends you’ve interacted with at the Academy. Then imagine how painful it would be if they and their families had to die just because of a connection to someone.”
Although Lucia didn’t have many friends, even if those few friends or comrades had suffered such treatment, she would be very angry.
“Mm…”