‘Can I still find myself?’
Iserin repeated the question Mowan had posed in her mind.
She thought back to the distant past.
During the period when she had just become the Saintess, she would still feel joy or sorrow for the various things in the world labeled as justice or evil.
Back then, although she possessed a willpower that far exceeded that of ordinary people, she was still like anyone else, experiencing the common joys and sorrows of a human being.
As she gradually froze her heart and turned herself into a machine that calculated gains and losses, she achieved brilliant success within the Kingdom of Visa.
However, she often taught Croll, or rather her believers, to always maintain passion for the Eternal Paradise described in the Revelations of the Chief God.
In those revelations, the Eternal Paradise was depicted as a utopia: a place without strife, hunger, disasters, or oppression.
Iserin never believed that such a world existed.
Yet, year after year, she was responsible for leading the people of Visa to believe in their nation.
Under her guidance, the people were filled with hope for the future of Visa.
Although most people also felt that such a world only existed in heaven, they believed that Visa’s future would infinitely approach that ideal.
Croll and the thousands of citizens of Visa were all loyal believers, filled with romanticism under the education of Iserin, this cold Saintess.
Iserin never felt there was anything wrong with this.
That was until she heard the words Mowan spoke: “A miracle will surely bloom at the end of your path.”
Iserin’s heart had been moved.
She had previously had a nightmare.
In it, the road she would walk in the future was filled with fog; as far as the eye could see, there were no more flowers, only a grey, deathly silence.
She liked flowers very much, so the answer she arrived at when pondering the nature of romance was to give flowers to Mowan.
Iserin remained silent for a long time.
When she finally spoke again, she did not continue the topic Mowan had raised.
“The war has been postponed because of Croll. The Boundary Gate was not completely destroyed; I preserved most of it using Disguise Magic. Currently, the Second Prince is taking over the First Prince’s work and is gradually repairing the gate. This will likely take some time, perhaps even years. Because I did not liberate all the gates, the gates weaken the power of the monsters under the influence of my magic. For the sake of stability, until the gates are fully repaired, the guards at the base will kill every monster that emerges. The size of the Monster Army will not increase for the time being.”
“Why? Isn’t this exactly when the power of the Demon Race is at its lowest? If you don’t start the war now, then when?”
‘Is it because of me?’
Mowan secretly anticipated that answer.
In the next second, Iserin spoke exactly as Mowan had imagined.
“Because of you. Because… I have not yet firmly locked your heart to my side. But the current King cannot wait, and the First Prince cannot wait. I, however, can wait, and Second Prince Casel can wait as well. Both the Second Prince and I have other excuses to delay the arrival of the war.”
“Sister Selin, are you truly one of the participants in this plan?”
“Yes.”
“You really are…”
Mowan’s body slid down the door panel until she was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees.
Even though she had turned this fact over in her mind countless times, hearing Iserin admit it personally still struck her like a thunderclap.
“We still have time, Mowan. I still have enough time… to fall in love with you. I believe I will certainly succeed.”
“If my father feels despair toward me, and if even he gives up on me, he will choose to marry other demons and produce offspring. At that time, I will no longer be the only Demon Princess, and I will no longer be the sole successor to the Demon King. Will you… still treat me like this?”
“As long as your father is alive, you are still the successor to the Demon King.”
‘In the end, is it only because of my status as the Princess that Iserin is willing to change for me again and again?’
‘If I were just an ordinary member of the Demon Race, would I have been killed the moment I met Iserin?’
Iserin was right.
Even if her father had other children, she was still a direct blood relative of the Demon King, which meant she still possessed the right to inherit the throne.
If the war truly broke out one day and Iserin slaughtered all of her younger brothers and sisters, leaving her father for last, then she would be the final Demon King.
As long as she remained alive, the Demon God would not descend upon the world.
This was the true purpose behind Iserin’s willingness to love her.
Thinking of this, Mowan felt waves of sharp pain in her heart.
“Sister Selin, I need time to process this.”
“Will you leave me?”
Iserin also crouched down.
She could sense Mowan’s warmth through the door panel, her palm pressing against the spot where Mowan’s back rested.
“I have already made too many changes outside of my plans for you. For your sake, I am willing to continue pushing back the day the war arrives. Until you are willing to stay by my side forever, I am always willing to change for you, and I am always willing to invite complications.”
“Do you think I’m supposed to be moved right now?”
“No. I… hope you can understand reality.”
Reality, reality!
And to think she had spent so much time talking about ideals with Iserin!
“Did you not listen to a single word I said to you earlier?”
“I listened. If possible, I will also try to find that utopia. I also hope that the path I walk will be covered in flowers rather than the blood of another race. But if you leave me, I will never be able to find that road again. I need you to guide me. I need you to be my redemption.”
“I need to think for myself.”
Mowan didn’t quite believe Iserin’s words; she felt they were lies told just to make her stay.
Seeing that Mowan was still unwilling to open the door, Iserin knew that their conversation had dealt a massive blow to her.
But this time, Iserin had not lied.
She needed Mowan.
She needed the emotionally rich Mowan, who could cry and laugh, to stay by her side to warm her and influence her.
Iserin faintly felt that if she truly understood what romance was one day, perhaps she could reclaim her lost humanity.
At that time…
She might truly become the Sister Selin who was willing to believe in miracles and pursue ideals, just as Mowan had described.
“Fine. I will head back to the Church first. You will wait for me here, won’t you?”
“Yes.”
Iserin stood up.
“Dinner is truly ready. If you are hungry, come out and eat once I have left.”
Hearing the faint sound of footsteps outside the door, Mowan suddenly stood up.
She grabbed the doorknob, intending to turn it, but then she hesitated.
“Sister Selin, I…”
“…..”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Mowan.”
What Mowan wanted to ask was: if I were forever the sole successor to the Demon King, would you always be here waiting for me?
But if she asked that, Iserin would likely stay guarding her door all night.
Mowan pressed her ear against the door panel.
It wasn’t until she could no longer hear Iserin’s footsteps that she slowly opened the bedroom door.
The dining room was empty, and the main door was tightly shut.
The magic chandelier hanging from the ceiling cast a warm yellow light, illuminating the dinner on the table that had long since gone cold.
Iserin had truly gone back.
Mowan sat down at the table and ate the dinner Iserin had left, though it tasted like ash in her mouth.
The naive words she had spoken to Iserin echoed in her mind over and over.
Could those words really touch Iserin?
After thinking it through, Mowan understood completely.
If she remained Iserin’s canary forever, she would never be able to shake Iserin’s convictions.
As long as humans and the Demon Race remained filled with erroneous prejudices toward one another, then for Iserin, exterminating the Demon Race would remain the optimal solution for securing the supreme interests of humanity.
If her father allowed another demon to take the throne, a Demon King raised in prejudice would never show any kindness toward humans.
Only Mowan was special, because her soul came from another world — from a world with more open and advanced ideas.
Mowan had to be the one to break the deadlock in this world.
She had to prove that the harmonious coexistence of the Demon Race and humans would be the future.
Only then would she be qualified to speak with Iserin as an equal.
Only one week had passed; Laedel and the others should not have reached the Imperial Capital yet.
If she hurried now, she might still make it.
Mowan quickly finished the food, then grabbed a pen and paper to write down the purpose of her trip.
She pressed the letter under a vase on the dressing table.
Before leaving, she looked back once more at the home Iserin had provided for her.
This place was filled with warm and beautiful memories of her time with Iserin.
How wonderful it would be if all her suspicions were false; then she could stay by Iserin’s side with a perfectly clear conscience.
But now that she knew Iserin’s true purpose, Mowan felt even more ashamed of herself for being so preoccupied with love in the face of Iserin’s “great love” for humanity.
She lowered her eyes, pushed open the main door, and stepped onto the long road ahead.