“Ye Zhou, while we have this free time, I’m going to step out to the restroom. I won’t stay here and bother you. If I’m around, you might not even be able to focus on memorizing the script.”
“Then I’m truly grateful for your understanding, President Jiang!”
Ye Zhou pressed his hands together in a gesture of sincere gratitude.
In all honesty, as soon as Jiang Yingxue left, Ye Zhou’s heart felt empty, but the crushing pressure really was gone.
He picked up the A4 paper in his hand and looked it over. There was black ink on white paper on the front, while the back was completely blank.
The corner of his mouth couldn’t help but twitch.
‘I have to say, this short play is way too short, isn’t it? Everyone only has a few lines and a few actions. It’s barely longer than three seconds.’
‘Ah… I really am being looked down upon by the Vice President, aren’t I?’
‘Well, it’s understandable. After all, during the two previous opportunities, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say my acting was worse than a pile of garbage.’
‘However, if I’m performing a scripted scene with the Vice President, it shouldn’t be as uncomfortable as doing an improv scene with President Jiang.’
‘If you have to ask why, it’s because President Jiang completely ignores the script!’
‘As for the Vice President, she’s very formal and follows the rules. It’s a given that she’ll stick to the script!’
Ye Zhou quickly scanned the contents of the short play again. Returning to the title itself, *When I Realize Reality Has No Voiceover*, the theme was clear—it was obviously a type of light comedy.
***
When Shen Yuzhen returned, she had a can of coffee in her hand. It looked like this was the prop she had mentioned for the play.
Jiang Yingxue, who had finished using the restroom, returned with her. Showing no restraint, she snatched the can of coffee from Shen Yuzhen’s hand, opened it, and took a small sip. Her willow-like brows immediately furrowed, and she spat repeatedly.
“Pah! Pah! Pah! What is this? Vice President, this coffee tastes terrible.”
“This is a stage prop; it wasn’t meant for you to drink.”
Shen Yuzhen’s brow couldn’t stop twitching.
Jiang Yingxue took another sip, closing her eyes to judge it carefully.
“If we’re talking about it as a stage prop, it’s still substandard. For no other reason than the fact that it has a very strange taste.”
“Enough. Stop trying to stall for Ye Zhou. I said we would start as soon as I brought the prop back, so we start now. There’s no room for negotiation.”
“Mm-hmm—I’m serious, though.”
***
On the stage.
Two chairs were set up, and Shen Yuzhen and Ye Zhou sat facing each other in silence.
It was so quiet that one could hear a pin drop.
Just then, Shen Yuzhen made the first move. She held the can of coffee that Jiang Yingxue had used her presidential authority to drink from—cough, no, the prop she had personally inspected.
With a welcoming smile on her face, she spoke in a light tone:
“Sir, your coffee is ready!”
“Um, okay. Thank you.”
Ye Zhou gave a shallow smile and took it with both hands. He followed by taking a large gulp and swallowing it quickly.
His brow twitched almost imperceptibly.
‘Oh my god! This coffee isn’t just weird like President Jiang said; it’s more bitter than medicine—so bitter I can hardly swallow.’
It wasn’t that Ye Zhou was being fussy. Even as a tough guy who dared to chew up medicine before swallowing it, he felt he had to retreat three steps in the face of this can of coffee.
Fortunately, in this short play, Ye Zhou only had one scene where he drank coffee. Otherwise, if he had to take another sip, he would have definitely thrown up!
Ye Zhou maintained the shallow smile on his face with great effort. “Mmm, it’s delicious. How much?”
“Of course, Sir. Five yuan a cup!”
Shen Yuzhen also maintained her welcoming smile and light tone.
However, she couldn’t hide the mischievous smirk in her heart: ‘Hehehe… I said I was going to get a prop for the play, but I actually went to the Campus Supermarket to buy a can of coffee that I knew for a fact tasted explosively bad.’
‘But the fact that you didn’t spit it out is within expectations. If you couldn’t even handle this much bitterness, you probably wouldn’t have passed Jiang Yingxue’s Club Entrance Examination earlier.’
Unaware of her thoughts, Ye Zhou continued the scene. He pulled out his wallet and fumbled around for a five-yuan bill.
‘In such cold weather, she could still brew such a rich and mellow coffee. Do I need to give this skilled barista a bit of a tip?’
Ye Zhou froze for a moment. He put down the five-yuan bill and pulled out a ten-yuan bill.
‘Ten? Still not enough. Should I give fifteen? No, I should give 100 directly! She would definitely be incredibly happy!’
Ye Zhou saw that there was no 100-yuan bill in his meager wallet and finally realized the truth. This was reality, not a novel. Where was the narrator supposed to come from?
He looked up and gave an embarrassed smile.
“Wait, beautiful barista, are you taking the liberty of adding inner monologue for me?”
Shen Yuzhen immediately covered her mouth and laughed.
“Pfft—sorry, sir. I thought you were quite cute, so I felt like teasing you. I didn’t expect you to see through it so quickly.”
***
“Great! That was great! The performance was very vivid!”
Jiang Yingxue *clap, clap, clap* applauded as she walked onto the stage with her long, fair legs. With a radiant smile, she pinched Shen Yuzhen’s cheek and gave it a gentle tug.
“Vice President, surely you have no objections this time? Also, remember what I told you. Stop entertaining those thoughts that aren’t good for club unity.”
Shen Yuzhen spoke in a muffled voice, “I know when I’ve lost a bet…”
“Then why is your mouth pouting?”
“Because you’re pinching it flat.”
Having learned from past experiences, Ye Zhou didn’t start celebrating early this time. Instead, he looked seriously at Shen Yuzhen.
Shen Yuzhen remained expressionless as she slowly spoke.
“You passed.”
“Ye Zhou, I’ve found that you have quite a talent for comedy. In the future, you can try to develop in that direction for the club’s stage plays, even if it’s just adding a few comedic elements.”
“Furthermore, I’ll be keeping an eye on you, so you’d better not let this go to your head.”
Shen Yuzhen was speaking from the heart. Ye Zhou’s ability was at least better than those who just idled their time away; he was a talent worth molding.
After all, to her, the Drama and Film Club — whether in the past, present, or future — could absolutely not have any useless, mediocre people slipping through the cracks!
Ye Zhou nodded and gave a faint smile. “President Jiang, Vice President, I will continue to work hard from now on.”
He was wild with joy but also felt a hint of tension. His heart was pounding. It had been a close call. He had used exactly all three opportunities to finally pass Vice President Shen Yuzhen’s Ability Assessment!
“President Jiang, please excuse us for a moment. I have one more question for Ye Zhou. This isn’t special treatment; I also asked Su Zhihan a question afterward, so I naturally can’t leave him out. It’s just a personal habit of mine.”
“Okay.”
Jiang Yingxue walked out of the Rehearsal Room without any hesitation.
Shen Yuzhen pushed up her black-framed glasses, faced Ye Zhou, cleared her throat, and asked:
“Question: What are the antonyms and synonyms for a woman? I should add that I want to hear your subjective answer, not an objective one.”
Ye Zhou was startled for a moment, then nodded.
His gaze inadvertently swept over the tote bag at Shen Yuzhen’s feet. Inside, the edge of a book with an exceptionally prominent black cover was visible. It was Osamu Dazai’s representative work, No Longer Human.
He pondered for a moment before speaking.
“The antonym for a woman is entrails; the synonym is flowers.”
Shen Yuzhen raised an eyebrow and asked, “Why?”
Ye Zhou shook his head and smiled. “Personally, I believe a woman represents beauty, while entrails represent filth. Therefore, they are antonyms. Flowers also represent beauty, making them a synonym.”
—