Chapter 28: Will you forgive me?

Mowan returned home.

But this time, she did not see Iserin again.

The doors were tightly shut, and no light could be seen through the windows.

Although the sky was not yet completely dark—it was likely around six o’clock on a summer evening—in the past, even if Mowan returned in the afternoon, she would see Iserin waiting for her at home.

It was as if Iserin had calculated exactly how much time she needed for each mission; she was always able to appear before Mowan the very moment Mowan needed to see her.

Only this time, Iserin was not there.

Mowan pushed open the door and looked at the empty, dark silence of the house.

Her heart felt as if it had been struck hard by a heavy sledgehammer.

Was she… busy with something and truly had no time to see her?

Mowan searched for excuses for Iserin in her mind.

But when she thought about their deepening relationship over these past few days, she believed that while their bond might not be at the point of being inseparable, they should be very good friends.

She felt that Iserin must have seen how much she relied on her.

Mowan had already given her True Heart to Iserin; she never hid her emotions, including the way her eyes conveyed her love to Iserin in their daily lives.

It was just that she had never voiced the adoration in her heart.

She believed Iserin should have understood all along; she simply hadn’t accepted her, nor had she rejected her.

Perhaps it was an emergency?

Mowan thought again.

Things happened so suddenly, and perhaps it wasn’t convenient for Iserin to have someone else notify her that she couldn’t come today.

After all, the interactions between Iserin and herself were private.

No one else knew where she lived, including her best friend, Rosa.

Well… the courier who came every day to deliver food probably didn’t count, right?

Mowan used Magic to light up the house.

Sitting by the dining table, she kept the front door open and gazed longingly outside.

She should be coming, right?

Even if something happened, for the sake of my feelings, she would definitely come, right?

After all, Sister Selin is someone who can see through all my inner thoughts at a single glance.

After all, I am also Sister Selin’s family, and I am her spiritual anchor.

She waited in agony.

Mowan even forgot to prepare her own dinner.

She stubbornly waited to prove her trust in Iserin, but her anxious state of mind brought back the blurred responses Iserin had given her in the past.

The unclear path ahead made her feel sad and lost once more.

Until a light drizzle began to fall from the sky.

The soft threads of rain caught the light reflecting from inside the house, shimmering with pale edges.

Mowan grew more desperate.

A rainy day.

Would Iserin still come?

The tiny raindrops fell into the silent night, yet they sounded like thunderous roars in Mowan’s ears.

The ethereal silence amplified her senses infinitely.

Until… that splash of silver-white, like the morning sun at break of dawn, tore through the monotonous curtain of night.

Wearing a white dress, she approached slowly.

A hazy mist of rain lingered around her, making her look as beautiful as an angel descending to earth, untainted by the dust of the mortal world.

“Sister Selin!”

Mowan stood up and ran to Iserin in a pleasant surprise.

She gazed at Iserin’s face.

Her eyes were intense and filled with longing.

But after looking at Iserin up close, Mowan’s perfect filter for her completely shattered.

Today’s Iserin seemed a bit different; her white hair fell loosely, and her expression looked somewhat dazed. She looked like a wanderer roaming the world, as desolate as a frustrated poet.

“Did something happen? Sister Selin?”

Mowan restrained her excited tone a little.

She reached out and gently hooked her arm around Iserin’s.

“Will you forgive me?”

Iserin focused her gaze on Mowan.

Her crimson pupils were filled with depth.

“Forgive? Of course I will. No matter what Sister Selin has experienced, I will forgive you.”

“Will you really forgive me?”

“I definitely will. Whether you deceive me, betray me, or even receive instructions from the Pope to have me executed, I will forgive Sister Selin.”

Mowan was already lightheaded with infatuation for Iserin.

She listed every scenario she could imagine that Iserin might have encountered.

She realized she was still hopelessly in love with Iserin, to the point of being terminally ill with it.

“It is my fault.”

Iserin half-closed her eyes, her face pale.

“I shouldn’t have let Rosa and the others execute that high-difficulty mission. I shouldn’t have… allowed the Royal Family to create those filthy things.”

“Eh?”

Mowan was stunned.

She never expected it would be about Rosa.

“During the day, I received a report from the Priest in the Azure Spar team. Except for the survivors, the others… they didn’t make it back alive.”

“……”

Mowan’s brain trembled.

She felt her entire being fall into a state of trance.

Iserin closed the door and held her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Mowan. If I had awarded you the Knight’s medal back then and let you continue to act with Rosa and the others, perhaps today wouldn’t have happened.”

Mowan raised her eyes, tears filling her sockets.

She tried to find a hint of jesting on Iserin’s face.

She hoped this woman, who usually never joked, was playing a prank on her.

But Iserin’s serious and guilt-ridden expression was undoubtedly the ironclad evidence of this cruel fact.

“I’m sorry, Mowan. All day today, I didn’t know how to face you. Not until it started raining. I felt like I could hear the souls of Rosa and the others crying. As the Saintess, I must take responsibility for this.”

“It’s… it’s okay. Rosa and the others won’t blame you. I… I don’t have the right to blame you on their behalf either. The day they chose to step onto this path, they were already prepared for sacrifice…”

Mowan spoke formulaic words numbly.

She didn’t know how to face Iserin at this moment.

All sorts of emotions mixed together and exploded in her heart with a bang, leaving her distraught.

She didn’t even know what she was saying.

“I’m sorry, Mowan. Perhaps I was wrong. I shouldn’t have kept this a secret. I think it’s time to tell Croll the truth.”

“No, Sister Selin, that’s not it… no one is wrong. You aren’t wrong, Croll isn’t wrong, I’m not wrong, and Rosa wasn’t wrong.”

“Then whose fault is it?”

“The one at fault is… God. God has failed His believers.”

“Mowan, I’m sorry.”

“Sister Selin, why are you apologizing to me? Don’t you think this is God’s fault? If God were truly protecting His believers, then why would Rosa and the others be sacrificed? Or do you think Rosa and her team weren’t sincere enough?”

“I don’t think that…”

“So, let it all be God’s fault. You are not wrong. If you aren’t wrong, why should I forgive you? Why are you apologizing to me?”

Iserin pulled Mowan into her arms.

She knew that Mowan’s mind was currently in a state of chaos.

All she could do was embrace Mowan with a heart full of apology.

She stroked the back of Mowan’s head, gently pressing Mowan’s head into the crook of her neck.

She felt the girl in her arms trembling violently.

Her body was constantly heaving and twitching.

The girl was crying.

She just didn’t want to look too pathetic, so she kept pretending to be rational and speaking words of moving on.

But how can a person’s emotions be so easily controlled?

In the arms of the person one loves most, it is fine to just have a good, loud cry.

Iserin’s chin rested on Mowan’s forehead, letting Mowan’s tears soak her clothes.