Chapter 65: Sorrowful Red

She said, “I’ve made up my mind. You don’t need to worry about me. Just as you left so decisively that day, please do the same today.”

Shen Yao pointed to the horizon.

“Look, it’s the Crow Flock.”

Qiao Yunxue followed the direction he pointed. Under the burning-red clouds, a group of black birds swept by in unison, their dark wings tinted by the glow of dusk.

Shen Yao continued, “Unlike the White Dove, they’re black birds, symbols of misfortune. But did you know? In ancient times, crows were also called Black Thrush. They were symbols of good fortune and the Sun Bird. Isn’t it strange? These little black creatures, yet they represented the blazing golden sun.”

“Shen Yao, what are you trying to say?” Qiao Yunxue said impatiently.

“Whether it’s the Black Thrush or the White Dove, they point to the same image. There isn’t only one path to take.” Shen Yao looked at her.

“Qiao Yunxue, if you really didn’t want me to come looking for you, why did you send me that box of discs? You could have left quietly, let the dust settle, and I would’ve only realized it all too late.”

Qiao Yunxue bit her lower lip, her eyes showing a touch of stubbornness.

“You said those hurtful things that day just to drive me away, didn’t you?” Shen Yao gave a self-deprecating smile.

“I thought I was clever, but I mistook your strangeness for the ordinary. Maybe deep down, I already resented you, so I never bothered to question your motives.”

Qiao Yunxue said coldly, “What’s the point of saying all this now? That day, I drove you away not out of pretense, but because I didn’t want anyone to hold me back.”

“To hold you back… Does that mean you want me to watch you jump like an Ordinary Person?”

Shen Yao stood up, his legs a little numb from sitting.

“You say you want to die at the hands of something strange, but all I see is an ordinary high school girl deceiving herself, sitting on the railing. If you jump and die, it won’t cause any ripples, just like those deaths of Ordinary People you despise the most.”

A look of sorrow appeared on Qiao Yunxue’s face.

“…I’ve already tried my best. My inspiration is much higher than before, so why haven’t I encountered anything strange? In that alley, no matter how many times I went back and forth, I never saw the Steel Piano Wire you mentioned; at school, I sat the whole night but never saw the falling Ceiling Fan. I think…maybe I really am just an Ordinary Person. If, after all these years of effort, I still end up with nothing, what’s the point of living?”

She looked down at her bare, delicate feet atop the tall building.

“If I jump just like this, then if I’m an Ordinary Person, it’s over for me. But if I’m not, then I’ll be able to see Mother again.”

“Don’t you find it ridiculous?” Shen Yao said.

“What’s ridiculous?”

“This kind of self-destructive thinking is ridiculous.” Shen Yao stepped forward. “What problem is there that you have to die to solve?”

Qiao Yunxue said coldly, “You don’t understand me at all, you don’t know what I’ve been through. What right do you have to say I’m ridiculous?”

Shen Yao replied calmly, “My inspiration is higher than yours, and the pain I’ve endured is far heavier. I do understand you. Qiao Yunxue, it’s not too late to come back now. Once you die, nothing in this world will have anything to do with you. No one will remember you, no one will care—not me, not Father, not even Mother in the Zero Dimension.”

“You’re talking nonsense!” Shen Yao’s words enraged her. “You don’t understand. None of you do. But Mother will understand me. She definitely will! She won’t forget me!”

She pointed at herself, shouting in anger, “Shen Yao, do you know what the world looks like in my eyes?”

“What?”

“Rain, all day, all night! Clouds that never scatter! Never a good day, never a good mood! The people on the street all wear masks—they never look at me, and I never look at them!”

Her voice was hoarse with emotion.

“I’m like a stranded whale, wanting to return to my own deep sea but unable to do it, struggling with all my strength just to fit into this awful world! They call me crazy, call me a lunatic, but I want to get better too—no one ever taught me how! Father, you, everyone, you all just blame me, think I’m hopeless. So why shouldn’t I just go to Mother? That would make everyone happy, wouldn’t it? A perfect ending for all!”

Her eyes were red.

“Since I was born, I’ve barely seen that man. Mother was always sick. In the last years of her life, she couldn’t even get out of bed, but every night she’d hold me and tell me stories about how she and Father met and fell in love.”

“I lived alone in that Castle. They called me the Red-haired Daughter and treated me differently from the start! I wanted a childhood like everyone else, wanted to hold Father and Mother’s hands, not just play house with two Beagle Dogs! And in the end…even the dogs were poisoned to death by someone…”

Her voice choked with tears.

“I don’t know what a family is, what warmth is, or how to get along with others. But I don’t need anyone’s pity! Shen Yao, do you understand? Do you understand what it’s like to be completely isolated? Mother left me because of illness, Father almost never visits for years, and everyone around me avoids me because of your family. Do you understand? You don’t! You have no right to lecture me!”

By the end, she was almost howling, crying out in anguish.

“So, I’ll do whatever it takes to find Mother. Only by her side can I find the warmth I’m looking for…” Her voice grew smaller and smaller, almost inaudible.

Shen Yao slowly approached.

“I understand you, Qiao Yunxue. I do.”

“Shen Yao, don’t come any closer!”

Shen Yao stopped. “Don’t do anything rash. Don’t forget, we’re Comrades in Crime—you’re the Boss, I’m the Companion, remember? If no one taught you, then from now on, I can teach you. We can start over, get to know each other again, okay? Besides, you still owe me a lot. A bit of money won’t repay it all.”

“What else do I owe you…”

“An apology,” he said.

Ok“And, you gave me Urban Legend Disorder and still haven’t provided a reliable cure. If you just jump like this, isn’t that a cowardly way to escape? We can start over—you be Boss, I’ll be the Companion. I’ll help you find a way to reach the Zero Dimension without giving up your life, and you help cure my Disorder. How about it?”

Qiao Yunxue fell silent.

She no longer responded to Shen Yao, but stood on the railing, swaying as if she could fall at any moment, like a tall pole ready to topple.

“Qiao Yunxue!” Shen Yao sounded anxious.

Qiao Yunxue glanced at Shen Yao, then down at the ground below.

The reason she’d waited here all day was for that one tiny wish in her heart… Now that Shen Yao had truly appeared, she suddenly felt she had no more regrets.

“Shen Yao, I’ll never apologize to anyone.” She said, then revealed a sorrowful smile and let herself fall.

“Qiao Yunxue!”

A flock of crows scattered, the summer wind blazed.

The Recording Device playing the White Dove’s song shattered as it hit the ground, the music coming to an abrupt halt.

Qiao Yunxue looked at the still void beneath her, and the shattered Recording Device.

She looked up and saw Shen Yao, reaching out and gripping her wrist tightly.

Half his body was hanging out over the railing, his face red with exertion, his expression twisted.

She never expected Shen Yao could explode with such speed, nor that he would risk so much to save her.

“Qiao Yunxue… you can’t die!” Shen Yao gritted his teeth. “The weather forecast said—no heavy rain, no clouds. Tomorrow will be a beautiful day.”