Chapter 11: But Not Even for a Single Second

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“Aurelia, I’m giving you two choices right now. Either die here and now, or leave this place immediately and accept judgment from the Church!”

“No… Captain… it’s not like that!” She nearly collapsed to the ground, stumbling forward on her knees.

[Just one more time… just give it one last try…! The Captain… he can’t possibly be that heartless!]

She still refused to give up, desperately hoping Laurence would give her a chance—a chance to resolve the so-called Disaster Source in her mind.

“Please, Captain… just give me a chance… let me prove… I’m really not…”

“I’ll accept any surveillance, any inspection! Just please… don’t abandon me… don’t send me away… I have nowhere to go…”

It was a plea that cast aside all dignity, wagering the last ounce of trust she had in “home” and in the man before her. But…

The red-haired man before her only lowered his gaze, his cold eyes sweeping over her outstretched fingers, her slender hands stained with dirt and blood.

He looked at her as if she were something filthy, not even bothering to pry Aurelia’s hands away. He simply stepped back half a pace, causing her fingertips to just barely graze the tip of his cold shoe.

“Your excuses end here. You lied to me, lied to everyone. You possess the power of Disaster—there’s no need for you to explain any further!”

“All your talk of surveillance and inspections is just a ploy to buy time, to find the next chance to escape or… contaminate others.”

His gaze fixed on Aurelia’s bloodless face, his tone cold and merciless.

His words, as blunt as a dull knife, carved into the girl’s chest one word at a time. Not fatal, but excruciating.

She opened her mouth, only to realize she no longer even had the strength to cry; all that came out was a meaningless whimper from her throat.

“It’s not true… I haven’t… I don’t even know what that is…”

“Captain… Liya might…” Vera’s voice sounded again.

But Laurence’s gaze swept across Vera like a blade forged of cold iron, cutting her off without mercy: “Vera, Vice-Captain, your kindness is misplaced.” Then, he suddenly pointed at Aurelia.

“Look at her! Someone who can block my full-force strike bare-handed, whose wounds heal instantly, whose source of strength is unknown! Do you really believe she’s just an ordinary girl who needs a chance to prove herself?!”

His questioning left Vera’s face ghostly pale, all words of plea caught in her throat. She had no choice but to fall silent.

She looked at the empty, unfocused eyes of Aurelia, then at Laurence’s almost fanatical golden gaze.

The Captain’s aura—one willing to eliminate threats at any cost—made her understand that any further plea would now be seen as a betrayal of the group.

She looked away from Aurelia, her shoulders drooping. That ever-bright, upright posture now radiated deep exhaustion and defeat.

“…Yes, Captain.” That answer was both a surrender and an acceptance of defeat.

The other members fell utterly silent, too.

They looked at the girl on the floor who had once brought them so much warmth, now seeming both unfamiliar and bizarre. Then they glanced at the murderous, indisputable Captain.

Every heart was filled with confusion, fear, and a faint sense of pity.

But under Laurence’s powerful presence, and the group’s instinctive dread of Disaster, no one dared utter a word.

Only the stifled sound of breathing remained in the room, along with the howling wind pouring through the gaping hole in the wall.

***

Laurence no longer looked at Vera, nor at anyone else.

He focused all his attention back on Aurelia, as if she was the only problem left to solve in this space.

Slowly, he raised his sword—the very Magic Sword used to slay monsters and protect the Base’s peace—now steady and pointed at the person he had most needed to protect, in this life and the last.

The tip of the sword glinted with a cold light in the dim room, aimed directly at the center of the girl’s brow.

[My probing has already forced the Disaster to reveal its true nature ahead of time, and I… I still don’t have the strength to kill her. I must get her away from the city, rapidly strengthen myself, and then… end this!]

“I’m giving you one last choice, Disaster.” His voice was no longer loud, but heavier than ever before.

“Right now. Get out of the Base, get out of Shadowlight City. From now on, your life and death, your fate, will have nothing to do with the Sword of Saint Radiance, or with anyone here.”

He paused slightly, his chest heaving. In his last words, there was a faint quiver that no one noticed.

“Never… never let me see you again!”

What should have been words of utter resolve and banishment, inexplicably took on a tone of sorrow and lament.

His grip on the sword was rock-steady, but the veins bulging on the back of his hand and the faintly trembling sword tip betrayed his true feelings.

The room fell into silence.

For the last time, Aurelia lifted her head, wiping away the trails of tears from her face.

“Captain… I…”

“Stop trying to beguile people, Disaster!”

His wrist dropped, and the killing intent radiating from the sword tip became a tangible chill, locking onto the girl before him.

“Unless… you’d rather die here, right now, this instant!” He almost growled the words, as if barely restraining something.

[Should I… explain to him? Tell him there’s some old undead thing in my head, always whispering for me to destroy the world? No… If I say it now, won’t that just prove his point? I’d probably lose my head on the spot…]

In that moment, her mind flashed back to the warmth when their hands brushed as he accepted a bowl of hot porridge.

That had been her first hint of warmth in this cold world, and in her most helpless moment after transmigrating, it was this Captain who showed her kindness.

‘Fool, what are you waiting for?’ That icy, mocking voice suddenly sounded, full of unrestrained ridicule and impatience.

‘The Brave’s killing intent is decided. There is no longer any place here for you, nor the slightest trace of false affection. If you don’t leave, do you really want him to cut you down so I’ll have to waste time searching for another Soul Container?’

‘Shut up! I don’t need some old bastard like you telling me what to do! And I won’t give you a chance to come out and do evil!’ Aurelia screamed inwardly.

‘Explain your existence to everyone? How is that any different from inviting you, the God of Plague, out into the open, just so you can seize control of me? Don’t even think about it!’

She stared at the sword tip glittering with cold light just inches away, at Laurence’s frigid golden eyes, and a stubborn desire for an answer welled up inside her.

She ignored the ridicule in her mind, the dead silence around her, and even the blade poised to fall at any moment.

She just stared at Laurence’s face, using all her strength to squeeze out the most humble, most desperate words spinning at the bottom of her heart.

“When I was making dinner for you… for everyone…”

“When I tried so hard to remember everyone’s favorite foods…”

“When… when I really thought this place was home, and that I was really one of you…”

Her voice grew softer and softer, until at last, it was almost drowned out by the howling night wind.

“Did you… even for just one moment…”

She looked up once more, her tear-dried red eyes now clear and pure, making Laurence’s heart tremble, his sword hand shaking with it.

“…Even if it was only for a moment… did you think Liya… did you think I… was alright?”

“Did you think… the things I did… weren’t just lies?”

She had asked it.

She had placed the last shred of her hope for warmth and acceptance before the Captain, offering it up beneath his sword.

Inside the room, even the sound of breathing seemed to halt.

‘Heh… utterly laughable.’ That voice sounded again.

Time seemed to stretch in that moment.

Laurence seemed struck still by an invisible hammer.

In those frigid golden eyes, something seemed to shatter deep within, only to be instantly frozen over by an even colder chill.

‘You actually beg for warmth from the executioner about to cut us down—a warmth that never existed! See, all that you cherished is so fragile before our great power and destiny!’

‘He wants to kill only you! Everything I did wasn’t meaningless! They were all so good to me—everything is because of you!’

Beside her, Vera bit her lip hard and turned away. The other team members wore complex, indescribable expressions, unable to bear watching the inevitable outcome.

The next instant, as if to sever the momentary stillness and to cut off the memories about to surge up, his blade slashed abruptly across the girl’s neck.

She let out a wretched cry, clutching her throat as she stumbled backward, hot blood splattering Laurence’s cheek. The scalding sensation made his eyelashes tremble, but his sword arm remained frighteningly steady.

“No.” His voice was painfully dry, devoid of all emotion.

“Not even for a second.”

More than his swing, those few words hurt her, made her realize the truth more clearly than anything else.

‘You see now? This is the acceptance you longed for, the bond you cherished. How laughable. Even without me, your actions would be nothing but a clumsy farce to the Brave.’

And then, the voice in her mind was no longer mocking, but calm and distant, as it asked the question it most anticipated.

‘So, have you given up now?’

Give up?

Ah, yes.

Finally… she could give up.

So, all those carefully offered bowls of hot soup, those late nights memorizing everyone’s preferences, those clumsy but sincere acts of care, the warmth she thought she felt…

So, from the very start, everything he did for her… was all a test, an act. The only purpose was for this very moment, to prove she was guilty, that she was harmful…

In his eyes, truly, not even for a second, had it ever meant anything.

No, perhaps it did mean something.

It was evidence of her disguise as Disaster, bait that needed to be purged and was sickening to behold.

How ridiculous… she’d even dared hope for a future here, tried to cling to that straw called trust, already rotten through.

“Heh… is that so…”

The airy words landed in everyone’s ears like invisible needles, piercing straight to the heart.

After standing up, she swayed slightly. The others saw her grit her teeth and endure the pain.

She didn’t bother wiping the blood still flowing from her neck, nor did she care about the shards of glass and splinters on her body. She simply let the dark red liquid snake down her pale skin and into her collar.

“There’s no need for you to act here anymore. I’ll never trust you again. Everything I’ve done isn’t baseless, Disaster. I have to admit—your disguise… was quite convincing.”

“But now, your act to gain sympathy—should end.”

Aurelia froze for a moment when she heard Laurence’s words.

Gaining sympathy?

So in his eyes, even these real wounds and bloodstains were just a carefully calculated performance, a loathsome and laughable disguise called “Disaster.”

***

She didn’t protest, didn’t explain, didn’t even glance back once, but simply walked toward the shattered hole where the night wind roared.

The wind battered her even more fiercely, whipping her black hair wildly, lending a note of… utter misery to her figure.

‘Very good… just like that.’

‘Embrace this despair, cast off these meaningless past ties. Only then can you accept true power.’

The thin clothes clung to her, outlining a slender, fragile silhouette. Her back, in the dim light, seemed as if it might be torn apart by the wind at any moment.

“Liya!” Vera’s voice was choked with tears, as if she wanted to explain something, but it was already too late.

Laurence blocked Vera and the other team members who tried to give chase.

The girl never paused, but rather quickened her pace as if escaping, her figure swiftly swallowed by the darkness of the night.

***

The night wind howled.

Only then did Laurence’s cold voice echo in the deathly silence, as if convincing someone, or crushing the last trace of his own hesitation.

“She can heal herself with that power.” His gaze swept past the glaring pool of blood on the floor, without the slightest ripple in his eyes. “All that blood… it’s just a more convincing act…”

The moment the words left his mouth, the Magic Sword fell from his hand with a clang.

He froze on the spot, staring at his empty, blood-stained right hand. His eyes inadvertently fell on a small Mirror on the bedside table, seeing his own image—covered in that girl’s blood.

Then, he slowly clenched that hand into a fist, pressing it to his heart, smeared with Aurelia’s blood, with all his strength.

There was no pain there, only the suffocating sensation of something missing. The weight of two sets of memories nearly crushed his chest.

One was the bone-chilling cold of those blood-red vertical pupils from his past life’s apocalypse.

The other… was these past weeks in the warm-lit kitchen, her humming off-key as she ladled him porridge, her profile softening him unconsciously.

Now, he could no longer tell if it was his feelings for her in this life, or the obsession from his last life, that gripped him so tightly.

Laurence clenched his right fist even tighter, until his blood mixed with the remnants of the girl’s blood, never relaxing for a moment, his nails digging into his palm.

Now, he could only use this outward pain to confirm his existence, to bury the feelings that spanned life, death, and time, yet could never find a place to rest…

[Run, Liya… run to the ends of the world. Once you’ve finally torn away that mask of kindness, I will find you. Then… I’ll end your pain with my own hands. That is… the best ending I can imagine.]

His gaze swept once more across the Mirror that Aurelia had left behind. Seeing his own blood-smeared face reflected back, it seemed like comfort, or perhaps a final remnant of hope for himself.

[Unless you can prove I’m wrong, that everything I’ve seen… is wrong…]