Another View: Kondo Haruka’s Perspective

The door of the Infirmary closed softly.

A final faint “click” echoed.

Now, only I remained in the room.

After Xiao Chun Miura left, the emotions that had been on the verge of erupting finally broke free.

The scent of disinfectant lingered in the air, mingled with the words that woman had left behind.

They echoed, refusing to fade.

[The feeling of not wanting to lose him is the same as not wanting to lose a tennis match, or not wanting to be second in an exam.]

[He’s your most important first place.]

“…Nonsense.”

I hugged my knees, burying my face in my arms, trying to argue back at that voice.

“How could I… not like Cang-kun?”

But even my rebuttal was so feeble that I couldn’t fool myself.

Uncontrollably, scenes from my childhood began to replay in my mind.

In my memories, Cang-kun was always standing behind me.

When we played house as kids, I was the Princess and he was the Knight; when I played in the mud, he’d hand me water; when I started learning tennis, he’d practice with me, running all over the court, laughing like a fool even when I made him chase after balls.

At some point, people around us began looking at me with envy.

“Wow, Kondo is amazing, she won the championship!”

“Kondo and Kanzaki-kun have such a good relationship, they’re perfect together.”

“They’ll definitely get married in the future, right?”

Those voices seeped into my bones like sweet poison.

I am Kondo Haruka.

I am excellent, I am dazzling, I am always first place.

And Kanzaki Sou, he’s top of the grade, good at all sports, the Prince of Seiki Academy admired by all the girls.

Only someone like him is worthy of someone like me.

And only someone like me deserves to have someone like him all to myself.

— Isn’t that just natural? Where could it possibly be wrong?

But……

“…Does your heart race?”

I pressed my hand to my chest.

Earlier, Xiao Chun Miura had asked if my heart raced when I looked at Cang-kun, if I wanted to kiss him.

I tried to recall.

When Cang-kun got a perfect score, I was happy because he was “my Cang-kun”;

When he scored on the court, I felt proud because he was “my practice partner”;

When he rejected a love letter from another girl, I felt triumphant because it proved I was “the only one”.

But… is that love?

Is that the kind of bittersweet, sweet, anxious, wanting to touch but not daring to, feeling you have for someone you love?

No.

Never.

What I felt for him was more of a justified demand, an assurance that “you should be here”.

It’s like…

It’s like my favorite Limited Edition Tennis Racket.

I have to own it, I have to keep it polished and shiny, and show it off so everyone envies me.

If anyone dared to touch it, I’d go mad, I’d bite.

But… would I fall in love with a tennis racket?

“Ah……”

A broken sound slipped from my throat.

Tears streamed down again, uncontrollable.

What Xiao Chun Miura said was true.

The person I treated as an eyesore, called a “gloomy girl” and a “schemer”, actually understood my twisted heart better than I did.

I never saw Cang-kun as his own person.

I treated him as my trophy, the most important piece of my perfect life’s puzzle.

That’s why I was so afraid of losing him.

Not because I couldn’t live without him, but because without him, I would no longer be “Kondo Haruka who has the perfect Childhood Friend”.

I would…

Lose.

“Pathetic… So pathetic, Kondo Haruka.”

I gripped my hair, my nails digging deep into my scalp, as if punishing my selfish, arrogant self.

The look in Cang-kun’s eyes as he left flashed before me again.

There was no anger, no disgust, only deep, deep disappointment.

It was the first time Cang-kun, who had always smiled and forgiven my selfishness since childhood, ever looked at me like that.

[We grew up together, so I know your personality is a bit strong-willed and competitive.]

[But what happened today… isn’t like something you would do.]

That sentence cut through my pride more sharply than any scolding.

I was the one who pushed him away.

With my so-called “love” that wasn’t love at all, with my suffocating possessiveness, with the ugliness of someone who would do anything to win.

To prove I was first, to prove I was the only one qualified to stand beside him, I hurt innocent people and even cheated on the field I loved most.

How is that the behavior of someone he should like? How is that someone worthy of him?

Clearly, it’s the kind of pathetic loser I hate the most.

“Ugh… ugh…”

Regret flooded me like a tide.

If only I could turn back time.

If only I hadn’t taken that step on the track just now—

If not for that step, even if I lost the match, Cang-kun would just tell me “Do your best next time”.

But now, even that kindness has become a luxury.

Footsteps sounded at the door.

Is Cang-kun back?

I hurriedly wiped my tears, trying to act as if nothing happened, or maybe even pout like before.

But remembering Xiao Chun Miura’s words and the look of disappointment in Cang-kun’s eyes, my body froze as if it were encased in ice.

The door opened.

Cang-kun walked in, followed by the School Nurse.

“School Nurse, over here.”

Looking at his still-worried face, pain pricked my heart like a needle.

Such a good Cang-kun.

Such a gentle Cang-kun.

What have I done to him?

After a brief exchange, the School Nurse began to examine my ankle. Cool fingers touched my swollen skin, sending sharp pain through me.

But I didn’t make a sound.

This pain was nothing compared to the ache in my heart.

Cang-kun stood nearby, watching the School Nurse tend to the injury, his brow furrowed tightly. He didn’t look at me, but I could feel his gaze lingering on my foot.

“It’s okay, the bone isn’t hurt.”

The School Nurse breathed a sigh of relief.

“But the ligament is strained and swollen badly. Absolutely no walking for two days, you must rest and keep it cold.”

“Okay, thank you, Sensei.”

Cang-kun listened carefully and memorized the instructions.

“All right, it’s mostly treated. Someone will come to take her back soon.”

The School Nurse packed up the medical kit and left.

Once again, only the two of us were left in the room.

The awkwardness was suffocating.

If it were before, I would have started whining about the pain right away.

But now, I didn’t even have the courage to look up at him.

“…Does it hurt?”

After a long while, Cang-kun’s voice came from above.

Soft, distant, with no clear emotion.

“…Yeah.”

I stared at my ankle, bandaged like a rice dumpling, and replied softly.

“Serves you right.”

He said.

My body trembled, and tears threatened again.

Yeah, I deserved it. I brought it on myself.

“…But,”

He sighed, sitting down in the chair by the bed.

“Don’t do something so reckless again next time.”

I looked up in surprise.

He was looking at me, the disappointment in his clear eyes much lighter now, replaced by a familiar, helpless warmth.

“Haruka, you know?”

He gazed out the window, his voice drifting.

“Since we were kids, I’ve always thought you were amazing.”

“You learn things quickly, always do your best. Whatever goal you set, you go all out to achieve it.”

“That sparkling side of you… I admired it too.”

“…Eh?”

I was stunned.

Cang-kun… admired me?

The perfect, invincible Cang-kun actually admired me?

“But, Haruka.”

He turned, meeting my eyes with seriousness.

“Winning isn’t the only thing that matters.”

“Sometimes, admitting your own weakness, acknowledging someone else’s excellence, isn’t shameful at all.”

“The other students on the field—they might not be as fast as you, might not have your dazzling athletic talent, but the way they ran with all their might for their goal… was truly cool.”

“And you…”

He paused.

“You were blinded by the word ‘victory’ and lost your brightest qualities.”

“That honesty, that confidence, that straightforwardness… where did they go?”

His words flowed into my parched heart like a gentle spring.

I don’t need to be first all the time.

I don’t need to be perfect every moment.

In Cang-kun’s eyes, the me who wasn’t always first, who sometimes failed, but was honest and upright—that’s the Childhood Friend he chose to look at.

I finally understood.

What I was truly afraid of losing wasn’t the title of “first place”, but how I appeared in his eyes.

I didn’t want him to see the ugly, jealous, twisted parts of me.

I wanted him to see the proud, confident Kondo Haruka, shining like the sun.

I’m sorry.

I bowed my head, and this time, I meant it from the bottom of my heart.

“And… thank you.”

Thank you for not giving up on me.

Thank you for telling me all this.

And… thank you, annoying Xiao Chun Miura.

If not for her infuriating psychological counseling, I might still be stuck in my own head, blaming the world, unable to hear Cang-kun’s words.

“I…”

I took a deep breath, summoning my courage.

“When my foot heals, I’ll apologize.”

“To the student from Class (5) whose match I disrupted, and… to Miura-san.”

Cang-kun seemed surprised I said that.

Then his lips curved into a smile I knew so well—the kind that felt like a spring breeze.

“That’s the Haruka I know.”

At that moment, it felt like something heavy had lifted from my heart.

The burden of “possession” and “victory” that had weighed me down for so long seemed to vanish with that motion.

Though I still felt a little bitter inside.

Though the thought of “sharing” Cang-kun even a little still stung.

But—

As long as he could smile at me like this, as long as I could sit beside him as his Childhood Friend, cared for by him…

Maybe… it’s not so bad?

Besides, Xiao Chun Miura was right.

If we really have a bond, if we really belong together, then no matter who else is around, we’ll end up together.

If our relationship can only be maintained by driving others away shamelessly… it’s too fragile, too undignified for my taste.

“Hmph.”

I snorted to myself.

Xiao Chun Miura, just you wait.

This time, I lost a round to you.

But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up.

Since you saw through me, since you dared to say “fair competition”—

I’ll do as you wish!

I’ll win back Cang-kun’s attention, using the fairest methods, in my brightest form!

I’ll prove that even without tricks, even without the “Childhood Friend” privilege, Kondo Haruka is still the one most suited to stand by Kanzaki Sou’s side!

“Cang-kun.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to eat pudding. The extra-large kind from the convenience store.”

“…Your foot just got hurt. Isn’t it bad to eat too much sugar?”

“Fine, then I won’t eat it.”

“…Alright, alright… Huh?”

“What? Usually you make me buy it anyway. Why not today?”

I laughed secretly.

Even though I lost once.

But…

There’s always tomorrow.

Also—

Thinking back to Xiao Chun Miura’s calm, all-seeing demeanor in the infirmary, and her slightly lonely smile at the end…

That woman… actually has it tough too.

She looks so fragile, yet she works so hard for her friends and her goals.

She even managed to comfort her love rival in that situation.

…She’s a hard person to dislike.

I mumbled softly.

Next time…

If we meet again, maybe we won’t be so hostile.

Maybe…

We can try talking?

Of course, only if I’m not busy chasing after Cang-kun!

Sunlight poured in through the window, shining on my bandaged foot.

It still hurt a little, and I was a bit of a mess.

But at this moment, I felt lighter and clearer than ever before.

Because I knew that from today onward.

I no longer like Kanzaki Sou just to win.

I want to win because I like him.

That’s a completely different thing, Xiao Chun Miura.