I can’t possibly keep watch as a widow for you, can I?
1985, December.
A vast expanse of white buried the village roads of Li Family Village, long icicles hanging from the eaves, the north wind howling like wolves.
The dead of winter, snow sealing the sky.
The winter of ’85 was stifling and bleak, not a hint of moonlight at the horizon.
The dirt roads in the countryside were uneven and full of potholes, not a streetlight in sight.
The night under the raging wind surged like a tide, drowning the entire village.
The villagers had long gone to bed, only from a distant, spacious house at the edge of the village came intermittent coughing.
Shi Meilan was gravely ill, wrapped in a thin, cold quilt, sleeping in the Ancestral Hall at the end of the village, her phoenix eyes half-closed in sickness.
She had tuberculosis, a contagious disease.
Her husband Li Lao’er and her son Li Tianci discussed and moved her to the Ancestral Hall, saying they’d bring her back when she got better.
The Ancestral Hall was usually for worshipping ancestors, holding year-end feasts, and celebrating villagers’ happy occasions.
Now, a makeshift wooden bed was set up, but it was still freezing.
She already had tuberculosis, and with the cold wind burning her, a fever raged in her bones.
In her muddled state, she lost all sense of time.
There were no windows in the Ancestral Hall, and it seemed the sky never brightened.
All she could hear was the wind outside, the branches swaying back and forth.
Why hadn’t her husband and son come yet—
Creak—a sound came, someone was pushing the door to enter.
Shi Meilan struggled to sit up, about to call out “son,” but before she could, a timid voice came from outside, “Mother-in-law, I brought you some rice soup.”
Shi Meilan’s voice was hoarse and leaking air like a broken gong, “Why is it you?”
“Where’s Tianci?” Where was her son?
Hu Honghua squeezed in from outside, her small face red from the cold.
Hu Honghua was her eldest son’s newly wedded wife.
Hu Honghua’s uncle was a hunter named Hu Chengjun.
Back then, Hu Chengjun saved Li Lao’er when he was chased by wolves.
The two men drank a pot of rice wine together, and just like that, arranged the marriage between their children.
But Shi Meilan was very dissatisfied with this marriage.
Because the Hu Family wasn’t a proper family! Hu Honghua’s father got into a dispute and killed someone in a fight, was caught by the police and executed.
The family’s land was all sold off for compensation, her mother ran off with someone else, and only her uncle Hu Chengjun was left to raise Hu Honghua.
Hu Chengjun would go hunting in the mountains for days and then into the city to sell pelts and meat, sometimes gone for half a month, not even having a proper home.
In the past, he’d leave Hu Honghua in the village, asking one family to feed her a few meals, another to give her some clothes, barely raising her to adulthood.
That kind of family just didn’t live a proper life.
So Shi Meilan didn’t like this marriage at all. After she met Hu Honghua later, she liked her even less as a daughter-in-law.
Hu Honghua was dull, uneducated, illiterate, her voice buzzing like a mosquito. Even when scolded, she wouldn’t make a sound, always shrinking her neck, looking so cowardly!
Her back seemed to have never straightened in her life, just looking at her made people feel stifled.
Her mind wasn’t sharp, she couldn’t do chores well, and she was awkward with people.
With such a daughter-in-law, half the roof of the Li Family house had already caved in.
Why had it caved in halfway? Because she couldn’t hold it up!
Shi Meilan had originally wanted to break off this marriage, and had found two cheerful girls for her son instead. But half a year ago, Li Lao’er was robbed on the way to buy textbooks for the school, losing two hundred yuan—that was money pooled by students from several villages to buy books.
At that time, Old Li’s monthly salary was only twenty yuan!
Some parents among the students had bad tempers. Seeing Old Li lose the money, they wanted to break his legs. Shi Meilan was terrified!
She emptied out all their money, but it still wasn’t enough. In the end, that silent hunter Hu came up with a hundred and fifty yuan to settle the matter.
Having received such a favor, Shi Meilan didn’t have the face to break off the marriage, and grudgingly accepted it.
Later, Hu Honghua entered the family and, as expected, didn’t get along with anyone in the Li Family, always being looked down upon.
Shi Meilan tried to help her many times but couldn’t, so she could only accept this useless daughter-in-law and make sure she was cared for every day.
“Why did you come?” Seeing Hu Honghua, Shi Meilan’s brows furrowed.
It was so cold outside, and Hu Honghua was such a thin, small girl—how could she come on her own?
And she still had tuberculosis, yet Hu Honghua didn’t even bother covering her nose!
Seeing Shi Meilan’s face darken, Hu Honghua shivered, her thin shoulders hunching even more, and she whispered, “Mom, Father-in-law and Tianci wouldn’t come. They said you’re sick, almost dead—the matchmaker from our village came, said she was going to arrange a marriage for Father-in-law.”
“What?” Shi Meilan coughed violently, suspecting she heard wrong. “Arrange a marriage for who?”
“Father-in-law.” Hu Honghua probably knew her mother-in-law’s temper, so her voice got even softer, buzzing like a mosquito, “The matchmaker came to arrange a marriage for Father-in-law.”
“I’m not dead yet!” Shi Meilan almost coughed up a lung. “What did your father-in-law say? Say it all, don’t make me ask one question at a time!”
Hu Honghua stammered, “Father-in-law, Father-in-law agreed.
It’s the widow next door, Wang Widow. Wang Widow agreed, and wants our family’s new bicycle as the betrothal gift.”
“Wang Widow?” Shi Meilan’s head was buzzing. She struggled to get up, but fell to the ground. Hu Honghua hurried over to help, just touching Shi Meilan’s emaciated hand.
Hu Honghua felt a pang of sorrow.
Her mother-in-law used to be a powerhouse, full of strength, her body taut and lean, tall and striking at the doorway.
She was the most famous chili pepper in ten miles.
Back then, people weren’t jealous that she had a husband who was going to take college exams, but that she had a capable, domineering, and fiercely protective mother-in-law.
Having a useless husband made life hard, but still livable.
But if you had a shrewd, lazy, cunning, and wicked mother-in-law, life was truly over!
Everyone said, as long as Shi Meilan was in the Li Family, the house would never collapse.
But now, her mother-in-law was as thin as a bag of bones, her skin loose and slippery from the extreme weight loss, unable to even walk steadily.
But Shi Meilan insisted on going.
She didn’t believe it.
Li Lao’er used to have little spats, but they’d weathered storms together for over ten years.
Now, when she was deathly ill, Li Lao’er not only didn’t visit her, but was arranging to remarry!
She had to go see for herself.
She had Hu Honghua support her as they made their way from the Ancestral Hall toward home.
Deep and shallow footprints were left in the thick snow, their feet numb from the cold. Each step brought stabbing pain.
Shi Meilan had never felt the road this long before.
She was dizzy, her bones felt like they were falling apart, and only then did they reach Old Li’s house.
Old Li’s family was a respectable one in the village.
Old Li’s grandfather was a scholar! Old Li’s own father had been the village chief, and had specially built two adjacent houses, the left for Old Li’s family, the right for his elder brother’s.
The families had long since split.
Because Old Li had studied, he was now the principal of the village elementary school, earning twenty yuan and some wheat flour a month.
Sometimes, when students couldn’t pay tuition, they’d bring back two jin of meat as compensation…
When she arrived at the door, her neighbor on the left—her sister-in-law—came out to throw out foot-washing water. That house belonged to her husband’s elder brother’s family. When she saw Shi Meilan, the woman cried out, “Aiyo,” and seemed to hurry back to spread the word.
Her sister-in-law shouted, “Mom, come out and see! Shi Meilan isn’t dead yet! She walked home by herself!”
The news that Shi Meilan was gravely ill and her husband was already looking for a new wife had long spread through the village.
Everyone was waiting to see a joke.
Shi Meilan couldn’t care less about her sister-in-law.
She staggered and pushed open the door.
She saw the main room of Old Li’s house brightly lit, the glow of the electric lamp seeping through the paste-paper window, radiating warmth.
The light was dazzling. Before, she never let anyone turn on the lamp except for her two sons to study.
Shi Meilan trembled even harder.
Through the yellowed window paper, she saw a woman’s shadow cast on it, smoke rising from the chimney, drifting with the scent of meat.