Chapter 102: What has blinded me?

After climbing into Cecilia’s bed, Lita didn’t get put through too much trouble.

Not too much trouble didn’t mean there was none, but compared to before, it really was…less outrageous.

Lita could only use “outrageous” to describe what Cecilia had done before, tormenting her until she was dripping with sweat, yet Cecilia sat there as if nothing had happened the whole time.

“I promised to help you with your desires, but the method must be decided by me.”

That was how Cecilia explained it.

In fact, the day she said those words, Lita had been exhausted and hungry, and after finally making a trip to the pleasure district and not even getting a taste, she had blurted out a request for Cecilia’s help without thinking. She hadn’t expected Cecilia to actually remember it.

But it wasn’t so bad. At least Lita got a full meal, and nothing too intense happened between the two of them.

Things like kissing or anything else were completely absent.

All Cecilia did was mischievously tease Lita a few times—like pretending to touch the tip of a non-existent tail, or deliberately brushing her hand “by accident” in front of her—like a mean owner teasing a kitten with a fish but refusing to let it eat.

That was only because Lita wasn’t sincerely after that sort of thing; even so, she was about to be driven mad by Cecilia’s teasing. Otherwise, she’d probably have been played to death.

Finally, when Cecilia paused to rest, Lita had a chance to catch her breath. She lay flat on the bed, rubbing her now full belly, staring up at the ceiling in boredom.

What a mess—tonight, these days, even every day since coming to this world.

If Lita had to put it into words, it could only be described as feeling like a whole different lifetime.

She could only hope she’d either run off with a fortune, or go to the Imperial Capital and live a perfect little life.

Speaking of the Imperial Capital, Promi’s words that night echoed in Lita’s ears once again.

“Lady Cecilia.” Lita kept her gaze on the ceiling, addressing Cecilia, who was lying beside her, doing who-knows-what.

“Mhm. I’m here.” Cecilia replied, calm as if the whole sequence of events just now had nothing to do with her.

“Why did you choose me?” Lita asked.

“I’ve told you the reasons—you weren’t sent by anyone, have no background, your ability is decent, and as long as you’re compensated, you’ll handle anything I ask you to do quite well.”

Cecilia had said those reasons before, more than once, but they didn’t convince Lita.

Lita puffed her cheeks. “I still don’t get it. With your qualifications, you could surely find someone smarter, and more obedient, right?”

“No problem. I’ll teach you how to become smarter, and how to follow my orders.” Cecilia’s words were firm and final. Her tone wasn’t forceful, yet it gave Lita the feeling that she would definitely manage it.

But that wasn’t an answer—it was about what to do after choosing her.

Drawing cards is drawing cards, training is training. The two don’t conflict.

“But there must be others, right? Someone else who’s a better choice?”

“Oh? Like who?” Cecilia seemed interested.

Lita had only brought it up offhand, but now she had no choice but to wrack her brain for a suitable candidate. “Like…Promi?”

She knew Cecilia wouldn’t choose Promi, but if Promi could really be Cecilia’s exclusive knight, Lita felt few could do better than her.

While the people by Cecilia’s side weren’t necessarily exclusive knights, after that night’s conversation with Promi, Lita almost equated the two.

“Promi—she’s the younger sister of Silver Ash Fang. Her elder sister serves the Second Princess Rosalia. I can’t make the sisters turn against each other, can I? Besides, even if I wanted Promi, her sister would never agree.”

There were just too many points in that sentence that caught Lita’s attention. Several questions sprang up in her mind at once.

Silver Ash Fang wouldn’t agree. That meant her words carried weight—so much so that even a princess would have to consider her opinion, maybe even contradict Cecilia directly.

Lita had long known that Silver Ash Fang was an elite among the Holy Knights, but was her influence just that strong, or was Cecilia’s standing as a princess that insignificant?

What stood out even more was the latter half of Cecilia’s sentence.

If Promi and Silver Ash Fang would become estranged because they served different masters, what about Cecilia and the Second Princess? Weren’t they sisters too?

Could it be that this, too, was a story of sisters falling out?

Too many doubts—Lita wouldn’t know where to begin asking, even if she tried. Besides, Cecilia gave her no chance to ask.

“Then let’s talk about the others. Momoka—you know her family background. She’d never take my side. Johnson is a local of Solus City. I don’t know what connections he may have, and he isn’t suitable in terms of ability or personality. Plus, I won’t let men into my room. Alber is the same, and besides, his motives aren’t pure… The others are even less worth mentioning.”

Lita didn’t know Momoka’s family background, nor did she see anything suspicious about Alber’s motives, but since Cecilia said it, Lita accepted it.

“What about the Imperial Capital? Isn’t there still the second round?” Lita asked next.

But she regretted it right after. After being with Cecilia for so long, she tended to forget that Cecilia was a special presence—a princess called “cursed.”

When she first heard the other soldiers and candidates discuss it, Lita felt that everyone resisted her, yet still didn’t really pay her any mind.

That was how it was in this border city. What had Cecilia gone through in the capital? Lita couldn’t imagine.

“Given how things were back then, I probably wouldn’t have lived to see the capital.”

So that was it. Given the circumstances, nothing could be done.

Wait—something still seemed off.

These explanations sounded like she was drawing the bullseye after shooting the arrow. Back then, Cecilia hadn’t known how the others would perform, nor her own strength, but had simply taken in the suspect—Lita—at her side.

There must have been a turning point, right?

Lita thought for a while. Cecilia had seen her, she had witnessed Cecilia crying, helped her deal with those Merchants, bathed together and accidentally startled her, and then later showed off her skills…

Yes, it was probably around that time that things changed. Cecilia started to trust her more and expected her to become more reliable.

Seeing Lita unable to say a word for a while, Cecilia asked, “Understand now?”

“Not really.”

“If you don’t understand, then get some rest.”

Lita shut her mouth, her thoughts swirling in her mind like little tadpoles. About ten minutes passed. When she heard Cecilia’s breathing become steady—though she hadn’t yet fallen asleep—Lita asked again.

“Actually, I have another question, Lady Cecilia. Why do you want me to sleep with you?”

Cecilia didn’t give her a chance to answer, cutting Lita off with a rather displeased tone. “If it’s something you shouldn’t know, don’t ask.”

“…Alright.” Lita nodded, her hair rubbing against the pillow for a while.

“Get up.” Suddenly, Cecilia kicked Lita, as if a child who’d gotten angrier the more she thought about something and finally lashed out. She’d done the same before, kicking Lita off the bed. Not having to sleep with Cecilia was actually a good thing for Lita.

But just as Lita got out of bed and was about to leave, Cecilia called her back.

“I didn’t say you could leave. Come back, kneel on the bed.”

Huh? What was this about now?

Lita was confused, but still obediently knelt up straight before Cecilia.

“Not like that. Mm, I didn’t explain. Fold your knees—kneel in a sitting posture.” Cecilia’s tone softened, instructing Lita to kneel properly. Then she crawled over like a little animal and—heave-ho—rested her head on Lita’s lap.

So it was a lap pillow? Lita had even braced herself for the possibility of enduring another round.

“Can’t see the moon,” Cecilia said out of nowhere.

“Is it the weather?” Lita asked, following Cecilia’s words.

Cecilia opened her eyes, seeing two large shadows cast over her face, blocking most of her view, and answered gloomily.

“No, it’s not that. Never mind.”

Cecilia’s mind was a bit tangled too. Lita’s question wasn’t easy to answer.

It wasn’t the weather, but the question of why she had chosen her.

At first, it was necessity—Cecilia needed someone to ensure her safety, and this fool was easy to manipulate.

Later, her changing opinion of Lita made Cecilia wary of the secrets she hid, yet also made her deeply curious about this mysterious girl.

And after that…Forget it. Feelings are messy things, hard to untangle. She didn’t need to think too much about it.

Maybe she just valued how, even under the dual pressure of money and her own power, Lita still showed her sincere heart.

Cecilia herself found it odd. After meeting so many sycophants, Lita’s sincerity was extremely rare.

Cecilia glanced again at those two huge shadows, then closed her eyes.

“Lady Cecilia, I…”

“Go ahead, ask.”

“The other exclusive knights—do they have to do these things too?”

“Exclusive knights?” Cecilia first opened her eyes, then understood what Lita meant. “When did I ever say I wanted you to be my exclusive knight?”

Subconsciously, Lita had already equated Cecilia’s choice with “exclusive knight,” but only now realized her mistake.

A vague sense of loss welled up in Lita’s heart, but it also felt strangely natural.

She hadn’t done anything particularly outstanding. Cecilia hadn’t found a suitable exclusive knight for so long—how could it just so happen to be her after everything that had happened?

“Lita, do you want to be my exclusive knight?” Cecilia asked, biting down hard on the word “my” rather than “Holy Knight.”

“That would be an honor, wouldn’t it? If you ask me, of course I do.”

Cecilia was silent—silent for so long that Lita wondered if she’d fallen asleep.

But after saying something like that, Lita didn’t know how to break the silence, or if she even should.

“I understand.”

Cecilia finally broke the silence after a long while. Lita had no idea what she was thinking, or what decisions she made during that long quiet.

Lita only felt Cecilia leave her lap, then turn to sit on the bed, her golden eyes staring at Lita for a long time.

“If you do well, I’ll give you a chance.”