Chapter 3: Only You Can’t

An ethereal voice echoed in his ears as Yun Mu stood by the bedside, holding the new garment in his hand.

The youth glanced back, and a delicate figure under the moonlight came into view.

The door opened again, and the girl who had just barged in, Shangguan Xunyi, pushed it open once more.

“Hey—have you not properly figured out your own identity? Just standing there foolishly, what are you thinking?”

The girl wore a primrose-colored embroidered butterfly dress, with a soft smoky green silk robe loosely draped over it.

Her untied dark hair was tied back with a pale ribbon.

She stepped forward gracefully, the jade hairpin on her tilted bun wobbling precariously.

“Yun Mu, if the head of the family finds out about what just happened, how do you think you’ll be punished?”

She snatched the youth’s clothing and placed it on the bed, her footsteps already pushing him against the wall.

Her right hand pressed against the wall, the jade bracelet on her slender wrist swaying lightly.

Her left hand lifted his chin, a faint plum blossom fragrance drifting from her sleeve as she smiled.

“So, are you going to give me some hush money?”

“Miss Xunyi… given my position, I shouldn’t be so close to you,”

the youth’s face flushed slightly.

He pushed away the jade hand and tried to slip past the narrow space beside him, but the left hand that suddenly blocked him again stopped his retreat.

“Miss…”

He raised his eyes to look at the girl, who was a head taller than him.

His vision was already clouded, and his heart beat faster.

“Please, have some respect…”

Yet his tone involuntarily grew firmer.

Honestly, he didn’t know how to deal with this Shangguan family collateral branch girl.

Not as a child, nor now.

Shangguan Xunyi was the first girl he had met after coming to the Shangguan household with his master.

She was three years older than him and was one of the few “peers” who didn’t despise him and actually played with him.

Back then, the girl clung to him constantly and even treated him like her younger brother.

She had once said—

Since their parents were both dead, why couldn’t they be siblings?

But ever since Yun Mu’s master passed away and he became Shangguan Qiuyue’s personal servant, she visited less frequently.

As for the reason—she only ever said it was to avoid suspicion and said little else.

Yun Mu even wondered if he had done something wrong.

He didn’t understand why they needed to avoid suspicion.

From about three years ago, their meetings dropped to only two or three times a year.

But strangely, also starting three years ago, Shangguan Xunyi suddenly seemed like a different person.

She cast aside her former coldness, began to approach him without reason, burying him in her embrace or attempting affectionate gestures.

Though he refused each time, the girl remained persistent, and the two became like a cat and catnip.

The cat, naturally, was Shangguan Xunyi, and the catnip was Yun Mu.

“Respect? Yun Mu, do you really think you have the right to say that to me? Little Sister just kissed you on the face, didn’t she?”

She forced calm and looked down at the youth with a big sister’s demeanor, but inside she was in turmoil.

She should… should not have actually kissed him, right?

It should… have just been whispered words, right?

“Miss Xunyi, I don’t think this concerns you,”

Yun Mu replied coldly, his words edged with sharpness.

“If you’re trying to threaten me, it’s unnecessary. I don’t fall for that, and I’m not worth it.”

An instant silence fell.

The girl’s lips trembled slightly, as if stabbed by a knife.

She forced herself not to bow her head and looked at the youth who had once been her close companion.

“Yun Mu… do you hate me that much?”

His brow furrowed deeply.

Shangguan Xunyi’s earlier aggressive stance ebbed like a tide, but her voice grew heavier.

“I don’t hate you…”

Before Yun Mu could speak, the girl cut him off.

“Don’t say you don’t hate me. You call me Miss Xunyi and ‘you,’ saying my business isn’t your concern. If that’s not hatred, then what is?”

She grabbed his arms, her eyes full of grievance.

“Yun Mu, you wash Little Sister’s feet and let her trample on your face with her feet. Why can’t I, Shangguan Xunyi, do the same? I just want to hold you. Is that really so difficult?”

“Yun Mu, the first person you saw when you came to the mansion was me. When your master was alive, I was the one who accompanied you. Back then, you even called me Elder Sister Xunyi and helped me wash my feet. Do you remember?”

Yun Mu nodded, recalling how the girl had said that was what a younger brother should do for his elder sister.

“Then why is it that now, your eyes only have Shangguan Qiuyue?”

Her voice faltered as she questioned him, but silence now settled heavily between them.

“Miss…”

“Yun Mu… is it because I couldn’t always be with you later on? Or because I haven’t been home much these past years, so you naturally stopped caring? Or is it because I’m from a collateral branch, an orphan, unworthy of your attention?”

This was the first time Shangguan Xunyi revealed such a raw heart, uttering words that hurt both herself and him.

She spoke from her own perspective to the family, from confusion to heartbreak, tears welling in her eyes.

Yun Mu felt a tightness in his chest, that heart-wrenching feeling rising again.

He roughly understood the girl’s intention.

She seemed to long for companionship but was also jealous.

She wanted to prove through forceful means that though she was collateral, she was no less than Shangguan Qiuyue.

“Miss Xunyi… you’re… jealous?”

The words slipped out unconsciously, followed immediately by anger.

“Smack—!”

A crisp slap rang out, carrying the girl’s sorrow, causing the youth’s head to spin.

“Jealous? Yes, I’m jealous! I, Shangguan Xunyi, am jealous of my own sister. Are you satisfied? But anyone else can say it—just not you, Yun Mu!”

She gripped his collar, her eyes flashing over the scars hidden beneath his clothes.

Her heart throbbed sharply, a bitter smile crossing her lips.

Forget it… this fool probably doesn’t even know he’s dying soon, right?

I must be crazy, arguing with his stubbornness now.

Shangguan Xunyi struggled to calm herself.

Taking two steps back, her voice carried a hint of release.

“Wait… I will find a way to help you escape…”

The girl murmured quietly, placing a Xuan Jade Vial on the table.

She glanced at the nearby pastries and lowered her eyes slightly.

“This is Healing Medicine, Yun Mu, you big fool. See you tomorrow—”

“Mm, thank you…”

The youth wiped away tears that weren’t his, his gaze lowering, a strange sadness filling his heart.

He seemed to forget something, but also remembered something.

That was for the best.

After all, the next time we meet, it will be on opposite sides of the mortal realm.

Elder Sister Xunyi, farewell…